Today, I got home to three boys riding bikes out in front of my house, smiling at me. I instantly thought they were checking me out, so I smiled sweetly at them. Turns out they were flaunting the fact that they just stole all 3 of our bikes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 3 year old son's tricycle was stolen. I looked up the street and saw a neighbour's kid riding it. I marched up, gently lifted him off it, gave him a stern lecture about stealing and brought the tricycle back home. The cops then showed up. Apparently, the kid has an identical tricycle. FML
Today, I discovered a purple BMX bike abandoned in my front yard. I wondered why it was there, until I looked over to discover that my own bike had been stolen. I guess they liked mine better. FML
Today, as I was riding my bike, I saw a bunch of cute guys checking me out. Not paying attention, I then ran into a parked police car. Besides getting laughed at, I got a ticket for damaging police property. FML
Today, I saw a bike locked to a short bollard, making it very easy to steal. Being as nice as I am, I stayed, hoping the owner would come soon and no one else would take it. Then the guy who bullied me in highschool showed up, asked me what I was doing, laughed at me, took the bike, and left. FML
Today, not only did someone steal my bike, they also managed to get wasted and drunkenly ride my stolen bike through my new screened-in front porch, destroying it and the bike. FML
Today, I realized that my bike was stolen. It was no big deal, my name and number was on it, but it was a crappy bike anyway. I live 3 miles away, and while I was on my walk home I noticed a bike had been thrown through my principal's window. Who's bike was it? Mine. FML
Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML
Today, I was taking my dog on a walk when two younger looking boys rode their bikes up towards me. One said, "What about her?" The other boy said, "Nah, she's ugly." FML
Today, I caught three kids setting fire to a bush. After chasing them off, I parked my bike by a house and went to get water. After I'd put the fire out, I walked back to my bike just in time to see the kids running off with it. FML
Today, I came home from work to find the lock to my bike busted and my bike stolen. The worst part was a nicer bike was sitting right next to it without a lock. FML
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Top comments
airforce987 20
get a car and ride them over
btown99909 0
at least they were nice enough to let you know they were stealing your bikes, most people don't even do that these days.
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Comments (90)
airforce987 20
get a car and ride them over
ColdplaySucks 18
Bring a gun or baseball bat and teach them to **** off too.
OWNZ 0
^ win!
bigal1135 0
how could you not notice they were your bikes XD
taazer 12
and then smile :D
ColdplaySucks 18
26 it sometimes takes a little moment to realize something is yours.
martyslurpee18 0
no kiddin
Blackmail111 9
OR you could steel their cars and drive around their front lawns smiling
angelpies 0
This is why you never assume you're being checked out.
CsDy1395 6
acts of homicide are always the best and most logical solution.
theschmidt108 0
shitty deal
HappyCynic 0
Lmao well maybe they were stealing your bike because they were checking you out.
OWNZ 0
Ya, op they were staring at you so much that they didn't even realize that they had your bikes instead of their own! DUH! ;)
ColorfulDonut 7
2- I'm sorry but WHAT????
RetardedBullFrog 4
uhhh so they were looking for a reason to check the OP out, stealing her (and/her family's) bikes came in to mind?
RandomPotato 0
38- Of course! Every time I want to check someone out, I steal their bike. It's the best way.
XxEmoSnowboarder 8
2 yeah cuz that makes totally makes sense
XxEmoSnowboarder 8
** that totally makes sense...sorry lol
RetardedBullFrog 4
hey man, I was just trying to make sense what 2 said. I'm still confused as to what he said though.
whiteboy7thst 2
Do I smell a MILF?
whiteboy7thst 2
Do I smell a MILF?
Belovan 2
Why do you have 3 bikes?
imOaks 3
Because OP is a extreme badass who can ride three bikes at once.
airforce987 20
3 people in the family? notice the "our" in "stole all our bikes"
Cleao18317 11
?? maybe she has a family??
RandomPotato 0
12- That's not very badass. I can easily ride four at once.
Iamnotmyself 17
-47 Not even, I do 3 unicycles, 4 bicycles, and a tricycle (Yes I'm a Russian bear)
Lulblast 4
your pic. it completes me.
Brookeismine 0
number 58, that explains your name.....ha
tkdgold03 5
hah at first I thought you meant out the front door of your house... so why would you be concerned with them 'checking you out' but now I get it..
natemeister 1
Hey I tried to message you but I couldn't find out how lol.. Message me Hun.
Bladian 5
Someone is desperate.
ThatFunnyDude 3
I agree with number 7
airforce987 20
good for you
NomOnShroomz 14
Aww that's so sweet.
mattmalin11 0
Go get an apache and chase them down until they surrender the bikes. Then kidnap them and take them to Casey Anthonys house. They'll be dead within a week, so she can go party.
ZoZo17_fml 0
Casey Anthony didn't kill her daughter. now quit being such an ass.
OWNZ 0
16 is retarded... She frickin duct taped the kids arms together, stuffed her in her trunk and then when it started to smell too bad threw her in the woods. WTF kind of parent also doesn't report their kid missing for an entire month!?!? She is a cold blooded killer
JustinThunder 8
Did you even pay attention to the trial?
ThatFunnyDude 3
okokok. first, she lied to the cops. that is big nono. second, how is it an "accident" if there was duct tape on the child? all of te signs say guilty