Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for years. There was just one problem: it was so terrible I said, "I think I might be straight" about five minutes in just so it would stop. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML
Today, I had sex with the guy who had been the main subject of my bean-flicking fantasies since I met him. It was the absolute worst sex of my life. I guess some things are just better left to the imagination. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in two years. With a man I love, who is handsome, very nicely equipped, and quite good at it. I was in pain the entire time. It took me 3 tries to realize there is something physically wrong with me, and once I get it fixed, he'll be gone. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML
Today, I was going to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. He couldn't get hard and pouted about it for nearly two hours. When I went to comfort him, he said, "Man, I hope I'm not gay." FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I'd had a crush on for a long time. When I asked if he was having trouble putting it in, he answered that he was fully in. FML
Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML
Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML
Today, I was told by the guy I've liked for years that he would date me if he was straight. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML
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Top comments
PenguinBitch 44
That must have been a pain in the ass.
Bevspeaks 11
Well you should have been honest instead of lying, what if he sees you with another guy? That'll hurt him worse than the truth.
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Comments (20)
Bevspeaks 11
Well you should have been honest instead of lying, what if he sees you with another guy? That'll hurt him worse than the truth.
PenguinBitch 44
That must have been a pain in the ass.
leogachi 15
This joke occurs so often that I don't even laugh in my head anymore.
PenguinBitch 44
Mmkay
woainishamu 21
Lol it must have hurt too much.
Accept 11
I doubt the sex was painful. It was just bad sex.
daliagrande 17
If you've liked him for that long then you shouldn't let the sex ruin it. You can always help him get better.
CharresBarkrey 16
If he's liked him for this long before something came of it, I'm betting OP put him on a pedestal, making his expectations far too high.
DemonNecron 9
All girls need to think like you haha
Wolstenholme 11
Maybe you're just too anal about your sex.
cuppycakeslove 20
You've probably crushed that guys sex confidence
Risho96 10
Oh well. Now you have 4 options: 1) Admit you lied. 2) Stay perpetually single. 3) Get a girlfriend. Or 4) Move far, far, away. Take your pick.
ydi_4_suking 20
Or stay with the guy and keep trying till he gets better at sex
DKjazz 20
That must have really hurt his feelings. FHL.
PossiblyInDanger 24
Not everything is about sex, OP. If you like him, he likes you, and you could have a good relationship, don't let this ruin it. You can find ways to make it better, together.
thrifting 18
Did he put it in the wrong hole? Oh wait..