Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my grandma added to my elephant collection by giving me some underwear with elephant ears on the hips, and a long, sock-like nose. She has no idea they're meant for a guy. FML
Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML
Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML
Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML
Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML
Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML
Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
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Top comments
bengermin 5
It'd probably have been way scarier if it had tusks.
KBeatz 5
You should have kicked the elephant in the chin.
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Comments (223)
megaboo310 4
Oh my god..... Hahahahahah wow
annie_nk 23
It's funny you guys are arguing about animal penis sizes and what a fact is instead of replying anything remotely related to what NoorFML said.
Bigmoneyshotz 0
Have you ever seen a one eyed snake?
ohmybobbert 16
I hope you called the cops. He could get fined/arrested for indecent exposure.
sockmonkey576 6
I love " his sex nose" ahaha!!!!!
fordman22 0
Elephant coitous!
donut_gurl 8
how old are you 10? its called a penis. Grow up.
DedaGrotesque187 0
The reason you're aggravated about this is because you let life suck all the fun out of you and your sense of humor went out the window with it. You ARE going to die one day! Relax your mind, live your life, and laugh as much as you can, the end is closer than you could ever imagine.
pompousjackass 10
"Sex nose"? Are you 12?
DedaGrotesque187 0
You get the same amount of pity from me as #192. Lighten up dude. You're not going to make it out of this journey alive. (>_
auctiongirl 10
You should have thrown him some peanuts .
CallMeBloo 31
I think you win teh Interwebz.
Exmortisa13 2
I say they should have kicked him in the peanuts. :D
m3lyc 18
This made me laugh alot more than it probably should have, but then I'm in a really good mood and laughing at anything as a result :).