Today, my varsity swim team got second place in the State meet. My coach said I could bring the trophy home for the weekend. On the way home, I accidentally sat on it and broke it, cutting my butt. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML
Today, I had a great workout and was feeling really good about my body. Until I sat on my desk, and broke it. FML
Today, I was at a swim meet. I was on a relay team and I was the anchor. My team was in 1st. I was ready to dive in when I saw my tampon string was hanging out of my suit. I freaked, slid off the block, and fell on top of the guy before me and gave him a concussion. We got DQed for a false start FML
Today, I tried to impress our swim team coach by doing a complicated backflip from the diving board. I landed face-first in the pool and had to be rescued by the lifeguard, so I guess I won't be going to the Olympics any time soon. FML
Today, I accidentally tackled my own teammate during a rugby match, so our coach made me walk the 5 miles back home instead of driving me home with the rest of the team. FML
Today, my swim coach had me swim a 400 meter freestyle. Feeling a little sick near the end, I lifted my head to breathe, then burped, and threw up violently all in the pool. All my team mates screamed horrified running out of the pool, and now they have to drain it. I was told not to come back. FML
Today, I swam in a race against all of the girls in the midwest in the hardest, longest, most grueling race you can swim. I won. Happy but so tired I could barely move, I looked up to see my time. I had been disqualified. For flinching. Before the race started. FML
Today, I broke my collarbone in a rugby tournament. I was forced to sit through five more hours of games because the coach wouldn't take me to the hospital until the tournament was over. FML
Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML
Today, I got a concussion while teaching a kid how to be a safe and cautious swimmer. FML
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Top comments
Trapped_in_a_Box 0
how do you accidentally sit on a trohpy? isn't big enough for you to notice it?
lolz_ydi 1
dumbass
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Comments (175)
roryrobotic 5
Ew
prevert_fml 0
good job ******* your team over, retard
dreamering 16
take care of your butt. It's more important in the long run
Randen_fml 0
Good luck in the shower. Your team is gonna kill you.
cuteluvrox 0
girl why you so HEARTLESS :) lol jk
ChrisSG 0
oh my.. don't sit blindly then..
LMFAOwned 9
You, my darling, fail.
J0gby 0
it was small enough for you to sit on it?
Jessi2487 0
need butt stitches? there's an app for that.
KiddNYC1O 22
aha, 80!
KingDingALing 9
Don't drop the soap in the showers, OP. Or else you're gonna get raped with a strap-on. Maybe they'll shove the trophy up your ass since it already cut your ass cheeks.
TheTigerRoars 0
At 109, psssh. Who uses strap ons? Haven't you seen these kids using those sticks with straw attached usually meant to sweep dust off of floors? -Fluffy McTiger
the_flirtt 0
super glue it !!
MissErikaHart 0
76....well, it was 2nd place :-/
OhMyHolyBalls 0
You didn't get first?? You must suck, YDI.
KingDingALing 9
113- What? What kind of **** are you watching? :p
the_flirtt 0
lol
Siji 0
Sports can be a pain in the ass :P
YouAlwaysDeserve_fml 0
Black ppl r black. no pun intended
brennboo 3
I don't get it 194...
lm27 5
oh noooo this brought back awful memories of that 1guy1cup video.....aaarggzskdkejckejfnwjqoworoqodncnwkznej
omfgrofl1337 0
This is fake, im in nc and swim varsity and all of our seasons start next month.
katn101 2
no it was on the floor and the little person was higher than my seat so i came down on it sideways.. its actually a pretty decent size trophy
Pikachuuuuu_fml 2
pika pika
LMFAOwned 9
Pikachu! Strike Ignorance with lightning bolt! iicaptain! Help me out and summon your Squirtle!!!
ohthebloodygore 16
You're all idiots. Except Ignorance.
mattman1994 0
Ignorance is right, why are you not being mature on fuckmylife.com?
Freeze_fml 17
That is a very different site.
ohthebloodygore 16
iicaptain, no more Precious Love and Sunshine for you. You're all idiots. *facepalm*
mattman1994 0
Guess what? fuckmylife.com is a **** site. Jokes on me
ohthebloodygore 16
You disgust me, iicaptain. STOP COLOURING.
Freeze_fml 17
Your unnatural happiness is a detriment to society.
KiddNYC1O 22
wye sew sirius
mattman1994 0
I don't know about that Ignorance, but if you want a silly mega masturbator from fuckmylife.com just send me the shipping and "handling" fee and Ive got you covered
KiddNYC1O 22
I agree with 97, can't trust a clown!
MnBran6 0
Iggy, you're looking like more of an old prude than your usual, lovably bitchy self. Something wrong?
MnBran6 0
Yeah, my mom gets irritable when tired too. Wanna explain my idiocy? I'd love to get some help.
MnBran6 0
'Cause captain jacks threads like I write poems.
MnBran6 0
Alright, Ignorance. I've taken a mental note of your demands and will act upon them post haste.
zp5 4
I laugh at the fact that this started by a pokemon :)
pianogrl 0
this is why pokemon rock, kids. see? everyone shunned the non believer!
MAGNAVOX 0
Ignorance, your name says it all.
Thin_Ice_fml 0
Lmao @ above
KiddNYC1O 22
sticky iggy
Freeze_fml 17
This is a long thread.
ohthebloodygore 16
IDIOT.
ohthebloodygore 16
173, you're just ignorant. You're also an idiot.
KiddNYC1O 22
what an arse
xBHD31095x 0
the voices in my head said they want me to kill ignorance
dragonairsavedhy 0
2. I'm in love with you
Stupified 0
Yes.
ambi5 0
You are my hero. I just hope the swim person didn't say pika when the got hurt because that would be just awkward
ThePwnapple 0
SHUT YOUR MOUTH WHEN PIKACHU IS SPEAKING.
Freeze_fml 17
I stand by it.
Xirre 0
Calm down, Sweetheart. :) Time to look for that strap-on you lost up your ass.
Mehness 0
Oh look, it's an asshole being a downer on a thread started by someone with a pikachu picture. Shame.
Mehness 0
Anyways... I'm confused by you, captain. Is there something I'm missing in your conversation?
Mehness 0
<- Is tired.
validus 0
pikachu used hand grenade! it's super effective! wait, shit. I don't think it's breathing... o_0
atticuz 2
Ignorance looks like she can take a DP. She's a feisty one. I bet her sitting action is totally wicked.
lolz_ydi 1
dumbass
harrypotterrfan1 0
wow ur nice.
mattman1994 0
trophyass
harrypotterrfan1 0
awh sorry hahah but u deserved it you were clumsy
love_maddieee 0
your gonna get it(: better go get first in another racr to makr up for what you did(:
omggitshayley 0
ouch? try explaining that one to the team.
harrypotterrfan1 0
lol.
h2opoloplaya 0
that's a really early state meet the Dawson must have started a while ago
h2opoloplaya 0
*season. dumb iPhone auto correct
packers12 0
5th
justsayfuck 5
Fail.
harrypotterrfan1 0
meany
glambert1998 0
u fail
KiddNYC1O 22
****
seekndestroy 3
sounds like something i would do. being clumsy is no bueno. fyl op
pianogrl 0
how could a trophy be that sharp?
bigbadtim 7
Maybe the trophy looks good, so you could say that it is sharp.
Trapped_in_a_Box 0
how do you accidentally sit on a trohpy? isn't big enough for you to notice it?