Today, I came home to find that my pregnant cat had given birth to a stillborn kitten in practically every room of the house. She had then rubbed her butt around the house, leaving bloody stains everywhere. When I tried to clean the white carpet, the bleach turned it green. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my cat had the bright idea of giving birth in the dryer, on top of all my new white towels. FML
Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML
Today, at 32 weeks pregnant, I found my boyfriend passed out face down in his own vomit. Not only does our freshly-painted game room now smell like a dirty bar, but he also let our 2 strictly indoor cats outside. They have yet to return. FML
Today, I took in an old friend’s fat cat for a month until she finds a place to live. Turns out the cat isn’t fat, just pregnant. I found out when I found two of her dead kittens in my living room. FML
Today, I was cleaning my room when I found a nice surprise from my cat. While I was on vacation, she killed a mouse. By the time I found it, there were maggots crawling in my carpet. FML
Today, my cat decided the perfect place to throw up was on herself. Cleaning a smelly old cat with a showerhead is trouble enough, but when she tried to escape, it resulted in the bathroom being turned into one big puddle. FML
Today, I watched as my poor old cat dragged his ass across our living room carpet, leaving an equally long shit stain on our pristine carpet. My pleas for him to stop only made his diarrhea worse as he ran off. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
Today, I noticed my cat was about to vomit on the rug and yelled at her to move. She spooked and managed to throw up while running. I still had to clean up the rug. FML
Today, while dog sitting, the dog peed on the carpet. There was a bottle of cleaning spray on the counter so I sprayed the spot. Turns out that spray was Clorox Bleach. Now their carpet is bright orange. FML
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Top comments
Fishfanatic 7
Oh >.< That's horrid. Poor cat! Did you not take her to the vets recently? They could surely have done a scan to see if the kittens were ok ( which we now know they weren't ).
perdix 31
You could start selling little Italian flags. You know, with the red, the white and the green.
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Comments (239)
Fishfanatic 7
Oh >.< That's horrid. Poor cat! Did you not take her to the vets recently? They could surely have done a scan to see if the kittens were ok ( which we now know they weren't ).
code2264 0
poor pussycat :(
shananigans 0
You look great in your pic, congrats!
darlinqqbella 0
1-800-Steamers. Stanley steamers makes carpets cleaners.
zerobahamut03 2
Omg that's horrible. Poor cat and kittens. Fycl indeed.
woofis 0
1, who the **** takes their pregnant cat to the vet. you know it's pregnant, and she knows how to do it herself.
omgYoUbasTards 0
win 43 :-D
boyguydudemalema 0
poor cat? what about the guy who had green stains all over his white carpet? cats give birth naturally by themselves since the beginning of cats. i dunno guys, if animals suddenly tried to dominate the world, i'll side with my own species !
wwerulez14 6
Lol darlinq, best part is I sang that along in my head :D
1personinthiswor 0
81- they're saying poor cat bc the kittens all died.
Person000 0
81 ... so did humans?
stephanie0613 0
YDI op, you knew the cat was pregnant. You should have kept an eye on her to make sure she was ok, especially if it was her first time having kittens. I love animals and you op fail. That's why you deserve green carpet!
jasonraces 0
jk btw dont do it
meganannee 0
so what he was supposed to stay home 24/7 just invade she started to have them? he probably was at work or something... animal lover or not it's definitely not his fault
meganannee 0
* incase not invade. iPod changed it...
nond2nv 4
That would be because "incase" is not a word.
trueblue42 4
that's so disgusting and so sad at the same time....... ahhh!!
whiterabbit420 4
humans should be the same way but for some reason women don't trust their bodies to do what nature intended.
vampire1618 5
They don't leave stillborns in various rooms of a house then wipe the blood on a carpet?
Pinkraincoat 18
I think it's a bit late for that advice.
TOPsCinderella 25
200- you try and give birth naturally without pain medication.
TASTYMCLOVIN 0
second!!!!!
twinny_sc 13
If you hadn't said second I would have considered liking you since your username is epic. Too bad you totally ruined this friendship. Now, good day.
mystomachurts 3
THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT SPAYING/NEUTERING YOUR PETS!! idiots... idiots
catatonicsleep 17
as surprising as it may sound some people actually want to breed their pets! besides if you neutered them all the species would go extinct
Person000 0
121 ARE YOU RETARDED. EVERY SINGLE DAY WE PUT DOWN THOUSANDS OF CATS. why? cuz idiots like you want your cats to have babies! idiot! cats are so overpopulated we have to kill off thousands off cats (and dogs). we say NUETER your cat so we don't have to f$&@ing kill them when they are left on the streets. my god, idiots! those shelters you pick up a cat or dog from, you know the place? that's the last chance they have. if no one takes them after awhile they will kill it. educate yourself god I hate people like you.
catatonicsleep 17
talk about reading wrong... i said if you neuter ALL cats it would go extinct... don't take comments so seriously... Going on your way of arguing we should start neutering people since we have lots of those in care too... you want to go first?
ktbird 0
148, you are a moron. We will never reach a point where they go extinct. To use that as a counterargument is like saying women shouldn't take the pill because humans will go extinct. Moron.
harmoo_fml 0
agree with 132 and 153
The_Big_Mac 7
humans may go extinct but there are quite a few I would prefer to never see breed and produce children.
The_Big_Mac 7
of course they wouldn't go extinct but just for arguments sake, you know.
BirdieCurls 25
153, do you know what spaying and neutering are? They're surgeries that prevent the animals from having babies. #148 was saying that If EVERY cat were to be spayed/neutered, there would be no babies. No babies = no more cats, no more cats = extinction. Pay attention.
Deverz 10
that was food dye not bleach
Shell02 0
SPAY OR NEUTER YOUR PETS you dumb ****.
jasonraces 0
soooo hes dumb because he didnt spay "being that its obviously a female, you should think befor you call someone dumb" his cat that he may have wanted to get pregnant?? nice i didnt neuter my dog so he could have puppys does that make me dumb?? idk
jasonraces 0
*****her cat
Hyperson 0
It makes you an asshole. Thousands of pets die every day in shelters. Also, did you know there are other forms of capitalization besides question marks? And there's this new thing called "capitalization."
livgasms 4
capitalisation is putting a CAPITAL LETTER at the start of a sentence or name, I believe you're thinking of punctuation. if you're going to be a tool and try and rip someone apart online for their grammar, don't get it wrong. :(
Deverz 10
that was food dye not bleach
Orlinda 2
You should have used oxy clean, it works better
sashalynn 0
"It isn't clean if it's not oxy-clean. Guaranteed to clean better than normal house-hold appliances. You'll get your money back if it doesn't work. Try it out and tell them that your friend, Billy Haze, sent you."
iluvsoftball 0
sad day....he's dead
mrahhhhh 21
Yeah he's dead (Billy Mays) and that's sad, but he was awesome. I don't know about anybody else, but his voice always pumped me the hell up: "Hi, Billy Mays here with Oxy Clean!!!". The guy made me wanna dominate people with my voice. #1: "What the hell, you just hit me!" #2: "I'm here with my fist, and I want you to shut the hell up!" Great announcer that guy :) . Probably the greatest TV commercial person ever. Way better than those losers from the Magic Bullet commercial. The woman looked like a spokeswoman for Botox or something. Anyway I'll stop rambling now.
icadragoon 11
LMAO @ 33, that is without a doubt the vest comment I've read all day.
K1ll_J0y 0
billy maze dude its spelled billy MAZE, i dont want to live on this planet anymore.
K1ll_J0y 0
oh crap i have no clue maybe it is spelled billy mays not bill maze be back in ten got to check the interwebs
NotDave 0
He never came back.
perdix 31
You could start selling little Italian flags. You know, with the red, the white and the green.
nycy 0
:( Nooo!!! Peridx has failed.
SmallTownCutie 0
no, I thought it was a pretty epic win.
swimchic007 0
perdix NEVER fails. you just missed the humor in it.
BisFitty 7
YDI for having a cat.
far_east 6
if you dont have a dog then ydi for not liking animals
untoldfame 3
should have pulled a bob barker, and remebered to control the pet population by spaying, and neutering your pets.
9010649 3
haaa... except he used hedge clippers.
rofflewaffle 9
Oooh, you've done it now. You guys made mintcar so mad she had to go out and find a thesaurus.
rofflewaffle 9
That was meant to be a reply to the next one down.
mrahhhhh 21
#125: Robot Chicken ftw!
trussellx 2
It's a lot of money to get a cat spayed / neutered. Maybe he/she didn't have the cash to fix their cat.
Warez_fml 12
If you can't afford the costs of a cat, then you probably shouldn't have one either.
mintcar 10
That sucks, but now you have kittens. :)
Igor_g5 0
Dead ones.
thrAsHeRr9081 16
are you an idiot
pcakewafflebacon 0
haha
drawing_a_blank 0
The kittens were all dead, genius.
mintcar 10
I should've read the FML more carefully. Oops. Yes, I iz dumbz. thnx fer point1ng it out.
mojojojo19 1
Time to spend less time taking pics of your stank ass face and get hooked on phonics so you can read better
far_east 6
mojojojo just pulled out his hefty ballsack and shroom stomped someone. :P and mintcar srsly, how can you miss STILLBORN i reckon you dont have a wide vocabulary
mintcar 10
Coming from someone without a picture. It's always galling when the ones without pictures insults the looks of others. I clearly didn't read the FML correctly. If I needed Hooked on Phonics, I'm pretty sure my reading comprehension would be far worse than this, no? Not that any of your comments bother me. Good job trying to abhorrent though. You sound oh so tough.
mintcar 10
You probably should've went all the way with your insult by the way. "Stank ass face?" It raises a slight annoyance when insults lack creativity. Eh, oh well.
rofflewaffle 9
Oooh, you've done it now. You guys made mintcar so mad she had to go out and find a thesaurus.
Cupcaken 0
what part of stillborn did you not get?
mintcar 10
A thesaurus for which words exactly?
mintcar 10
Oh yeah, I forgot to add " GRRRR!" to indicate my " anger." There you go.
rofflewaffle 9
I just think it's hilarious that your profile says that you respect the English language, yet your grammar is just as bad as anyone else's on this board. Don't attempt to defend your mistake by trying to "sound smart." It doesn't work and only makes you look worse for your hypocrisy.
mintcar 10
How is my grammar just as bad? I think it's funny that you came back to this post just to spew more idiotic drivel. Apparently multitasking while reading an FML is out of the question. Oh by the way, you said I used a thesaurus. But couldn't even answer my question.
mellafabulous 0
yeah. dead ones. I hear they're fun to play with.
mintcar 10
Oh and by the way, I'm not coming back on this post. It's old and i don't have to keep defending myself. Also, I have to go pick up a thesaurus so I absorb many more of my "super big words" that I use to sound oh so " smart." Have fun having a lovely conversation with yourself. Hope it goes well.
kcTornado 0
um... no! they all died! seriously mint that was dumb
SweptAway 0
Stillborn kittens, dead kittens
mojojojo19 1
It's ok we all know you are not the brightest crayon in the box and we forgive you for that. However, pretending you "smart" is just sad. Eventually you were going to be called out for it. Karma really is a bitch :-)
KierRadcliffe 8
Dumbass
delilah1997 0
They were stillborn! That means they were born already DEAD!!!!! Don't be so damn IGNORANT
GemmaAnne 10
You are one dumb person,apparently you Don't know what still born means,Look on google!
lovelyliz916 5
Poor kitties ): I feel so bad for the momma kitty and the baby kittens. O and I don't give a damn about your carpet, ydi for not using the proper cleaning solution!!
palmtrees 1
No, he deserves it for not getting his cat spayed.