Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had just finished riding my bike when I ran into the girl I am secretly in love with. While I walked over to her I got an erection through my spandex biking shorts. FML
Today, while making deliveries, a lady answered the door stark naked and invited me in. I'm a young single guy so I went for it, but her husband was also there, ready to go with an enormous boner, so I ran to my van and went back to the depot. They reported me for bad customer service. FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, I started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection, all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
Today, at the gym, a very attractive lady was working out in front of me, wearing tiny shorts that left zero to the imagination. I kept trying to avert my gaze, until her extremely buff boyfriend came over and threatened me. My crime? I wasn’t checking out his girl enough. FML
Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML
Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML
Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML
Today, I got a completely random boner at a coffee shop, five seconds before two attractive women asked me to stand up and take their picture. FML
Today, I was at the laundromat, when an attractive girl set up at the machine next to mine. She looked me up and down, then noticed the skid-marks on my underwear. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Harry_Poochi 0
You should have shown her your package.
pinky0090 0
Should have asked for her number
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (99)
The_Cait 0
Why would you answer the door with an obvious erection if you didn't want people to see it? And how else should she have reacted?
Sun_Kissed18 25
He didn't. He answered the door, saw a hott fedex woman, and THEN got an erection.
wingedspiritus 0
Oh, please. Don't try to act smart here. Yes, there are MANY other ways she could have acted. She could have been prudent. Seriously... What's with these random people judging people's actions this harshly without really giving it any thought at all? -____- How bothersome.
null_fml 11
#18, I respectfully disagree. It's hard to explain why his wording makes me think otherwise, but so far you're the only comment I've seen to interpret OP's post as popping one at the door, rather than answering already hard. I'll try to explain my reasoning: He "had" an erection, signifying only a static state for his penis. Technically that works even for getting one at the door, but in practice most people would use "got an erection", rather than "had an erection" in that case, to signify the vector of his penis changing state during the stated event. (Even you used the word "got" rather than had, in your comment. It feels more natural.)
wingedspiritus 0
null, I think you're taking it the wrong way. If you try to imagine you were in his situation, you would understand he had gotten it after he saw the woman. His wording doesn't make it clear, but it was probably that way anyway. He did say she was "extremely attractive".
null_fml 11
wingedspiritus; sorry, I intended to mention that he could just have awkward wording in his post. But my main point after all was that we shouldn't assume the FedEx woman gave him the erection. I see your reasoning that OP mentioning specifically that she was attractive makes her a reasonable source for the erection, but I'd like to refer to the structure of many previous FMLs, which involve a guy embarrassing himself in front of an attractive woman (implying, presumably, that he no longer has "a chance" with her). That particular form of FML therefore has an entirely different reason for specifically mentioning a woman's looks, and that can apply here as well. Grammar aside, the biggest reason to assume he had the erection prior to opening the door is that most guys don't get an erection just by looking at an attractive woman, if she's fully clothed. Plus, the brown shorts and baggy t-shirt aren't really a turn-on for most people. Anyway, I agree that she should have been professional when answering the door. It's pretty easy to pretend not to notice. But maybe she just couldn't help herself.
that_guy321 2
that's not really an FML first, you answered KNOWING you had one. so you should've expected something like that second, it was probably a nervous chuckle. not because you're small.
i_is_a_tr00l 0
That's only bad if you have a small penis... According to your name, I suppose it was. :/
a_lackof_color 0
this sounds really familiar. probably because the exact same thing happened in this tv show called degrassi. this is fake. try again.
lolylol_fml 5
agreed
genius_man16 1
So she was delivering you a package and you thought you should deliver one of your own? Thoughtful guy you are
sikanderimran 0
I'd never answer the door like that.
Einstein714 0
pushes who cares button
fmh123 0
I call bullshit, there are no hot girls that work at FedEx!
Drummerboy1234 0
my first thought was exactly that! "Do hot girls even work at fedex?"
invisiblerabbit 0
should have shot your **** in her eye. take that you stupid bitch for laughing at a ****. ******* fedex, they should just go **** themselves along with tom hanks and wilson.
jonny2x4 0
I'm calling shenanigans too. I've yet to see any hot chicks at FedEx or UPS.