Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML
Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML
Today, while working in a dark nightclub, I dropped a red charger. Retracing my steps, I found it, or so I thought until I picked up a used tampon. FML
Today, at work, my vibrator rolled out of my bag so far down the table that I couldn’t catch it, and had to run round the table to grab it by leaning between two of my male coworkers. That vibrator lives under my bed, so the only way it could've got in my work bag would be my boyfriend pranking me. FML
Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML
Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML
Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML
Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML
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Top comments
Onyxdragon 9
That's a new one, you get a gold sticker.
llamarrama01 21
People who do things like that can go....**** themselves
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Comments (134)
Onyxdragon 9
That's a new one, you get a gold sticker.
Kyle1dc 17
it would be funny if the batteries were almost out and it died while in use...
drunkmunkey 24
take from children to please yourself... sounds like a winner
BubbleGrunge 18
Honestly, as someone who spent 8 years in childcare, nothing is more refreshing than a toy that no longer makes noise. Have you ever had to hear Elmo giggle for eight hours straight? I'd give you a gold star AND a glass of wine OP!
Corey122726 17
Did You by chance borrow batteries from Buzz to use for your Woody?
beserker81 12
**** yea #2
brook823 24
What will you tell the kids when there toy doesn't work?
sayyestothedress 24
OP: the batteries are dead Child: but there isn't any batteries OP: THE BATTERIES ARE DEAD!!
rocker_chick23 27
Battery gnomes stole the batteries?
randome101 12
They are now...
thisguy22 33
Kid: "my toy doesn't work!" Teach: "well mine sure does!" That's how I imagined that convo going anyways...
Mortoli 30
What #4 said lol.
mattyiscool123 26
It's supposed to be "their"
ThuNDeY 23
Blame the gremlins.
tony1891 22
good vibrations.
cinskeep43 15
work hard play harder
llamarrama01 21
People who do things like that can go....**** themselves
jerryj 27
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
with their hand.
madazphotography 11
With there vibrator
foxwasalamb 24
with their* grammar
ShadowlessSpear 21
**** themselves with their grammar? Shit, I've been doing it wrong.
IcEmAn81 8
Isn't tht the whole point of stealing the batteries... Lol
volcanes_jovenes 6
And your icon goes perfectly with this comment. Dean knows what's up.
ZY1431 24
well...gotta do what you have to I suppose.
little_aliceee 17
How broke are you -_- You briefly destroyed a kid's happy moment to satisfy your lust!!
sweetbliss3 37
I'd rather her take the batteries so there aren't crabby people in the workplace.
garrett_8614 14
The kids probably won't even notice. Kids will play with anything!
AloysiusWeasley 15
On the bright side, they did not satisfy their lust while destroying a kid's happy moment!
music_is_life22 12
You make it sound like she's hiring a hooker
Cyrus00 41
WORTH IT!!!
blahblah5743794 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You could have said remote or computer mouse or almost anything else and I would have completely understood, but a vibrator! Really!!! Stealing from children's toys! YDI
volcanes_jovenes 6
You probably would have done the same thing if you were desperate enough.
synnefrenia 8
Why? Having a functioning vibrator isn't a necessity in life, but nor is a working remote. They're just two different forms of entertainment, but one has a stigma associated with it...
clemsi 20
@100 I agree with the stigma that's attached....T.v. rots your brain...so instead get your self nice and relaxed so you can enjoy the rest of the day that much more.
Dro23 10
Oh wow you bastard!
ArbiterOfFML 24
You killed Kenny!
Vivi99 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Could have just gone to the store op
sarah5745 41
I'm assuming op doesn't have the money to do so
snowflake_3325 7
Well... They have a job, so if they were that desperate I'm sure they could have scratched together ten bucks for batteries... Honestly this one is pretty pathetic
False_Stupidity 42
Thus the statement that they've hit a new low point.
cookies2228 3
or one buck at dollar tree #52
nevermindthemind 18
you must be proud