Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had just finished riding my bike when I ran into the girl I am secretly in love with. While I walked over to her I got an erection through my spandex biking shorts. FML
Today, while making deliveries, a lady answered the door stark naked and invited me in. I'm a young single guy so I went for it, but her husband was also there, ready to go with an enormous boner, so I ran to my van and went back to the depot. They reported me for bad customer service. FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, I started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection, all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
Today, at the gym, a very attractive lady was working out in front of me, wearing tiny shorts that left zero to the imagination. I kept trying to avert my gaze, until her extremely buff boyfriend came over and threatened me. My crime? I wasn’t checking out his girl enough. FML
Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML
Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML
Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML
Today, I got a completely random boner at a coffee shop, five seconds before two attractive women asked me to stand up and take their picture. FML
Today, I was at the laundromat, when an attractive girl set up at the machine next to mine. She looked me up and down, then noticed the skid-marks on my underwear. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Harry_Poochi 0
You should have shown her your package.
pinky0090 0
Should have asked for her number
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (99)
Hockeylover87_71 0
lmao at #60
DameGreyWulf 1
Oh fooey, put in her shoes, I would have laughed too, simply because LMFAO YOU HAD AN ERECTION. Oh wow. Nothing wrong with it, of course. I'm just silly.
Dessgeega 0
It's already been said, I know, but I'm going to say it again. "Baby, I got a package you need to handle!"
My_averageFML 0
awww sad day!
JBoyes09 0
Should have said "I've got a package for you as well".
JustStayHome 0
Here's a change from that package joke: Did you lick the stamp? Was there any type of 'speedy delivery' involved? Did (s)he deliver it using the back door? *Wink-wink, nudge-nudge* Lmao, how were those? XD
jstasilentscream 3
dude, where's your little man pride ? you should've flapped it in her face and ask if she cares for a tip
AnimalPorn 0
Cut off your Penis and grow a ******!!! There, problem fixed.
blackwidowtaco 31
You need serious help.
lilmen10 0
Dude! if it were me , *Without thinking* my only words, " show me yours and ill show u mine!" and then tell her to sign for the small thing in ur pants u idiot
blackxmortals 0
ahaha. a lot of girls would laugh at that. just because we laugh at embarrassing things. her laughter doesn't mean anything. all though, if you ask me, your insecurity might mean something...