Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife told me alcohol gives me "increased confidence without increased ability." FML
Today, I realized that I’ve been slowly staying later and later at work, then having a glass of wine before bed to avoid my husband, because we mostly fight whenever we see each other now. FML
Today, after I divorced my husband because of his extreme alcoholism, he's now sober and got his life together and I see the man I fell madly in love with. Apparently, getting better for revenge meant more than getting better for the marriage. FML
Today, after I was surprised by my husband announcing he was coming off the drink and going to the gym to get in shape, I found out that I've been such a fool, as it turns out the pre-workout shakes he kept making contained about 5 shots of vodka, so he could drink at home without me moaning. FML
Today, after close to 10 years of marriage, my wife’s health has improved enough she is craving sex again. Just not with me. FML
Today, I've lost weight, given up beer, soda, and fast food, finished the house project backlog, cleaned the house, and gotten the kids on a chore regimen over the past seven months, all things my wife asked me to do to reduce her stress and revive her sex drive. Oh wait… she still won't have sex. FML
Today, if I want to be sexually attracted to my wife, I need to be very drunk, but if I'm very drunk there's about a 2/3 chance I'll have whisky dick. Before you ask, we've been married over 40 years, so there's no point in divorcing, we've been together too long, so who else would want to shag us except each other? FML
Today, it's been twelve years, seven months, and fifteen days since my wife has wanted sex. She was drunk. She no longer drinks. Guess my name is Job now and I have to be patient. FML
Today, I am exhausted and can barely move after being up all night taking care of my drunk and vomiting husband. He, on the other hand, feels much better and is bounding with energy. FML
Today, my wife was finally in the mood after 150+ attempts to seduce her and I was drunk to keep it up. Now she's upset and thinks I'm not attracted to her. FML
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Top comments
LuluRichards 20
Maybe marriage counselling is worth a try?
Nimmrodel 11
That was one depressing read. Maybe time to seek help; that's not healthy for you or him.
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Comments (104)
LuluRichards 20
Maybe marriage counselling is worth a try?
SamCat 21
yes couseling and a little gym time wouldn't hurt either.
XxNightwingxX 21
My thought exactly.
trex454 21
I agree. she also needs some self reflection. sounds like a vicious cycle. he gained some weight causing her to lose interest in him and making her drink more. which gives him less motivation causing him to gain more weight. so on so fourth
scice03 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ugh you poor girl.. I have no other advice other than agreeing with this commenter- Counseling.
prinncess00 16
...Maybe, TWO bottles of wine?
Karenezzy 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Surprise blow jobs always help(;
Ashamed_Sister 60
She doesn’t want to have sex with him, so I think a ******** would be even more disgusting than other forms of sex.
rocker_chick23 27
If she doesn't want to **** him, why would she want to give him a ********?
RedPillSucks 33
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Maybe she could get him to give her a surprise ********...
Nimmrodel 11
That was one depressing read. Maybe time to seek help; that's not healthy for you or him.
NotR3ddy 20
Possibly try and get your mind off your husband for a bit, maybe hang out with some friends until you and your husband can have some rebuilding time.
theycallmekitty 13
That's what tequila is for
Ashamed_Sister 60
You’re right and I know as a fact that tequila is very effective.
missyfiona89 28
and that's because you had sex or blew a disgusting guy after having tequila?
Ashamed_Sister 60
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
He wasn't disgusting.
mlowy 17
So you're admitting to doing it?
R3TROxLOV3 32
26, Not to sound judgmental, but why do you have experience with this? You're only 18. Drunken hookups aren't really something you should be well versed in at this point.
mb2_native 15
77, You would be surprised, I can tell you now, more girls are at the bars now that look like they can be my child... And im 22 -_-
jizzwold 21
You looked at her profile and saw that she was 18 but you missed that she is not American. We are one of the only western countries with a drinking age higher than 18. We don't really know the circumstances of what she is even talking about so there is no reason to be so judgmental.
R3TROxLOV3 32
@93 even then, she's still a teenager. I'm Nigerian, and it's crazy easy to get alcohol there, but that doesn't mean that I engage in drunken hook ups either. It doesn't matter if the drinking age is lower, she still shouldn't be well versed in drunken hookups.
Rainhawk94 27
#58, that censor bar over your mouth isn't really holding you back when it comes to drunken hookups
StillUsesMyspace 22
Life's too short to be stuck in an unhappy relationship. At least talk to your husband OP, and divorce could be an option in the future.
LCPLStewie 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
sad that the first thing people now days think of is divorce... why don't we try salvaging the situation before trying to ruin a family? half the problem is usually our selves not willing to accept we F'd up and we and are apart of the problem.
andits 21
If you read carefully you'd see #6 suggested talking first and divorce as an option for the future so don't be quick to generalize. Plus sometimes divorce is the only option and the only place they F'd up is choosing a wrong life partner.
LCPLStewie 23
not knocking that either. Sometimes it is the only option... but unless you know the OP I wouldn't go thinking that divorce is her only option and I NEVER said #6 was the one to suggest divorce first
jazzy_123 20
I always used to say that I wanted my first marriage to be my first and only, but the more I see people getting divorced and remarried, the more I see I can go through that too. The chances are higher is what I'm trying to say... but that won't stop me from trying to be different from all those people.
LCPLStewie 23
It's true sometimes it can work out in the end and I'm soo happy when it does. But what people are doing more of; is going through with a divorce because it's simply too hard or they think their partner isn't what they wanted. people have their ups and downs but just because they're down doesn't mean they should just give up! try before admitting defeat and just leaving a relationship... And once you've given your all then I whole hardheartedly say get out of it and go through with a divorce
sterling1113 15
One of two things you can do. 1) take a tolerance break 2) talk to your hubby. If you openly communicate how you feel, if you haven't yet, then he might just be willing to work with you and be understanding. Best of luck OP.
Hierobulle_fml 7
3) Replace the wine with absinth
allison12197 23
Might be time for a little something stronger
ddlovatolover 23
Alcohol kills your sex drive, actually.
joea21 21
Usually when you marry someone you marry them for more than just their looks. Kind of sound a bit shallow forcing yourself into a drunk state just to have sex with him.
sweetest_jenn 18
Sounds like she's staying with him for reasons other than his sex appeals. Doesn't sound shallow to me. Aside from the lazy and fat part, maybe he has a good heart?
ksks1234 33
12-- or financial security. Usually, when you are in love with someone, you are able to look past flaws.
LCPLStewie 23
Ever try hard liquor? maybe try getting him motivated by joining a gym or go for a hike. Getting him involved in something you do is a great way to strengthen marriages... Could try drinking a little less too
Axel5238 29
Possible though that passion is lacking. Usually the woman wants something more romantic than just flat out sex. Though in work both ways. If she's making all the effort and let himself go I'm guessing physical attraction just isn't there anymore and neither is her spirit to keep trying. I'm guessing you've spoken about this with OP sorry it's gotten to this point.
LCPLStewie 23
And the hard liquor bit was not serious
LCPLStewie 23
I agree 100% I haven't spoken with the op. Physical attraction is a necessary part in a relationship and if she has tried getting him to get motivated then yes maybe it's time to move on. But if she hasn't I just hope she at least tries before giving up and going through with a divorce it's one of the biggest problems our country is facing right now.. the family is the building block of our society and I hope people begin realizing it soon.
xbrit551 13
time to move on to hard liquor