Today, my wife was finally in the mood after 150+ attempts to seduce her and I was drunk to keep it up. Now she's upset and thinks I'm not attracted to her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife admitted she loves me as a father to our children, but is no longer attracted to me. FML
Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML
Today, my wife told me she had stopped taking her anti-depressants a month ago in hopes of increasing her non-existent sex drive. I asked her if it had helped, and was about to suggest she start taking them again for her own wellbeing. She replied with, "Anyway, I'm just not attracted to you." FML
Today, six months after my wife convinced me to open our relationship, I finally scored with a lovely lady. My wife threw the biggest fit in history. Apparently, she just wanted to fuck other men and didn't think anyone would be interested in me, and now she feels inadequate and threatened. FML
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Today, my wife spent all day texting me dirty things so I used some of my holiday hours to come home 3 hours early for some sexy time. During my drive home she got in a bad mood, and no longer wanted sex. FML
Today, my wife came home drunk, telling me all about this amazing man she met at the club with her friends, and how she wanted to have sex with him but couldn't because she was on her period. What a present. FML
Today, my wife asked why I was so grumpy. I admitted that I was horny and sexually frustrated. She went on an hour long tirade about how I "shouldn't need sex to not be a jerk" and how I need to handle my own needs. FML
Today, my wife told me alcohol gives me "increased confidence without increased ability." FML
Today, I came home from working twelve hours straight. Feeling rather frisky, I attempted to seduce my wife upon arriving home. She said that sleep was better than sex and went directly to bed. It was only 6:30 PM. FML
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Top comments
easybree 10
oh shut up y’all will f anything with a hole stop acting like men are so deep when it comes to sex
GoogieWithers 25
When you say 150+ times, do you mean this year or this month?
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Comments (3)
Lost Reggie 22
It's not just the alcohol. I was faithful to a wife who turned me down thousands of times, starting on our honeymoon. The brain and the penis exchange notes. Soon, the only woman you wanted becomes the only one you don't.
easybree 10
oh shut up y’all will f anything with a hole stop acting like men are so deep when it comes to sex
GoogieWithers 25
When you say 150+ times, do you mean this year or this month?
jtookie 1
need more context. your way of seducing may not be actually seducing your wife.