Today, after some great sex, my boyfriend mused: "You know, from this position, I could punch you in the cunt and you wouldn't be able to stop me." I could only relax when he finally fell asleep nearly an hour later. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, I lay in bed reflecting on my fiancé's complaint about my lack of displays of affection. I felt terrible, so I rolled over and hugged him in his sleep. He's a fully trained martial artist and his immediate reaction was to try to snap my neck. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML
Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the bed, when he started to tickle me. I tried to pull away but he pushed me back down. I ended up hitting my eye on the corner of the nightstand. His comment was "this is why you shouldn't struggle." FML
Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML
Today, after a 3-month dry spell because I am recovering after having a baby, I was finally in the mood to get intimate with my husband. Foreplay was great, the sex was great until my back gave out right as I was about to cum. I can't move without intense pain. I just wanted to orgasm! FML
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Top comments
Saintly 2
I don't think you should do that position again.
OysterPearls 33
Lots of people. A guy was harrassing my friend once at school, touching her after her repeatedly telling him not to, and she clocked him right in the dick.
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Comments (106)
kc12062 8
How... classy.
joshi42 16
Was it 69? In that case you could just bit his **** of.
tomvertigo 17
Unless he's commonly violent I'd chalk it up to WTFery.
tomvertigo 17
Dick hits hurt more than sack taps.
Country_Mama_93 3
I mean... my husband and I joke like that. And there's been times that I was nervous to fall asleep. Not because he's violent by any means, but because when he makes comments like that, he usually starts a wrestling match or a tickle fight, so I'm nervous about a sneak attack.
Country_Mama_93 3
Also, I don't understand why people assume he's violent or abusive because of this thought/comment. On a typical day I've thought of throat punching three innocent bystanders for absolutely no reason and probably thought of 5 ways to turn conveniently placed items into murder weapons.
Country_Mama_93 3
For the record my husband and I joke/talk about it all the time. Not because we'd do it, but because we have twisted and morbid minds. We also say we're gonna beat each other all the time.its just how we are
Exobadger 15
Sounds like your bf is trash.
Saraishi 25
Dafuq?
BloodyGlass 10
So, how did your ex-boyfriend respond when he found his dick up his nose?
katluvr 22
Unless this kind of word-play is a mutually agreed-upon style of communication, I'd advise you to exit this relationship asap. Personally, I don't think it's funny to make someone feel intimidated or threatened.