Today, after some great sex, my boyfriend mused: "You know, from this position, I could punch you in the cunt and you wouldn't be able to stop me." I could only relax when he finally fell asleep nearly an hour later. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, I lay in bed reflecting on my fiancé's complaint about my lack of displays of affection. I felt terrible, so I rolled over and hugged him in his sleep. He's a fully trained martial artist and his immediate reaction was to try to snap my neck. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML
Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the bed, when he started to tickle me. I tried to pull away but he pushed me back down. I ended up hitting my eye on the corner of the nightstand. His comment was "this is why you shouldn't struggle." FML
Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML
Today, after a 3-month dry spell because I am recovering after having a baby, I was finally in the mood to get intimate with my husband. Foreplay was great, the sex was great until my back gave out right as I was about to cum. I can't move without intense pain. I just wanted to orgasm! FML
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Top comments
Saintly 2
I don't think you should do that position again.
OysterPearls 33
Lots of people. A guy was harrassing my friend once at school, touching her after her repeatedly telling him not to, and she clocked him right in the dick.
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Comments (106)
TCRII 30
Gently take hold of his balls and wake him up. Then say "betcha my squeeze would hurt more than your punch - wanna find out?"
Death_The_Kid15 20
Everybody is going crazy saying to hit him in the dick, and not realizing he actually DIDN'T hit OP, most likely meaning it was just a joke.
tw124331 13
Well of course it was a joke. But not the most romantic or touching thing to say after sex.
Aimeejasmine 15
Really? Just because he didn't actually do it doesn't mean there's nothing wrong here, hence why this is on FML.. A romantic partner is someone you're supposed to trust wholeheartedly, you can't say crazy stuff like that to OP when they're most vulnerable (about to sleep)
codybutler03 5
probably not love you need op. sorry but there's plenty of other guys out there.
lesliehalverson 5
Who the **** uses the wrong "their"
Tannasgh 22
It's disturbing to me as a male that another male would even think something like that much less say it.
RedPillSucks 33
hint that when he falls asleep, you could become Loraina Hobbit and theres nothing he could do about it
teechur 15
Dude threatens to punch me in bed, his next two words will be spoken from the other side of the door. Seriously if it literally scared you, get out. Now.
UnseenContrast 10
maybe it's time to find a brew boyfriend OP. sorry :(
IsoMotionZ 2
it's the right one tho
cornyrob 33
Maybe he thought you might like fisting.