Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML
Today, my wife told me she’s pregnant and we went through the whole range of emotions together, surprise, happiness, tears, anger, acceptance, you name it. An hour later she said she wanted to save the pregnancy test for memories. Guess she forgot her glasses, it very clearly says NOT pregnant. FML
Today, I had to comfort my wife after she found out that her boyfriend wasn't faithful to her. FML
Today, I found out my husband has been telling everyone he doesn't want a baby. He has been telling me he does. We have been trying for months. I'm now pregnant and confused. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, I found out my wife of 19 years has been cheating on me. She told me that all the "cheating music" that she's been playing the last year and a half should've been a good enough hint. FML
Today, I found out that my kids are both my half-brothers, and the fertility tests my wife had us do a few years ago showed that I'm sterile. She didn't tell me until I found the test results in her desk and asked her about it. FML
Today, my doctor told me I'm pregnant. Since we've been trying for several years, I called my husband to tell him the good news. Not long after, my doctor called to inform me there'd been a clerical mix-up and I'm not actually pregnant after all. FML
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Top comments
kirrra 11
what a cruel joke, I think your wife has some growing up to do before you both have a baby for real
wolfgold2 20
Fake like you're sterile.
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Comments (78)
reaxion 25
Got any divorce lawyer pals that could do you a solid and draft up a fake divorce paper?
carterjanelle 9
Why is everyone freaking out about this like his wife is such a terrible person? I bet he's more than happy she's really not pregnant. Now maybe if she had lied and said she had a miscarriage I would understand the outrage....
Setareh23 34
No where does he say the pregnancy is unwanted. Lots of married couples want to have kids, so you can't just assume he's happy she isn't pregnant. It's a terrible thing if you've been wanting a kid and your wife "jokes" about being pregnant. And even if he didn't really want a baby, it's still a joke of poor taste. He's probably let all his friends and family know, and has been worried about the preparations for the whole month. Having a kid is a serious thing, not something you flippantly lie about for an entire month.
Unluckymeow 9
If he's more than happy that she's not pregnant, then this wouldn't be an FML.
carterjanelle 9
FHL so being dumb and believing it
carterjanelle 9
Thanks for half an essay but it's not that serious
Setareh23 34
Sorry, didn't realize 95 words was too long for you to read.
carterjanelle 9
I think it's funny really. It just goes to show how oblivious men can be
Dumbledora 9
Not all men detest children, you know. Maybe OP was really happy and excited to be having a child. This could have crushed him.
carterjanelle 9
Not "men detest children" I said "men can be oblivious". Or maybe he's upset about the fact that for a month he couldn't tell that his wife really wasn't pregnant. Who knows he didn't specify
Espinozaurio 3
You should play another game with her to see how long it takes her to grow up!
taylor21398 14
That's terrible! She has some growing up to do.
hplover32 19
that is horrible and uncalled for.
KimchiKim 9
These sort of FMLs make me contemplate about marrying someone... XD
arre2006 19
ouch... sorry to hear that bud. time to mess with her by telling her you're sterile
Moobacca 2
I don't normally promote domestic violence, but in this case....
strike2867 13
I disagree with a lot of the posters, she sounds interesting and apparently a good actor. Not to mention she obviously puts out, what's her number?
Not_Impressed13 9
"Interesting"? If she will lie about being pregnant, what else well she lie about in their marriage?
jdlanam87 9
I agree with you!!! People get too butt hurt to easy. My bf would've congratulated me and taken me to my first doc apt so gig would've been up real soon. But I think people need to learn to laugh more.
squideth 18
77 you're not cute or quirky for not caring about pregnancy. It's a big ******* deal to a lot of people.