Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML
Today, my wife told me she’s pregnant and we went through the whole range of emotions together, surprise, happiness, tears, anger, acceptance, you name it. An hour later she said she wanted to save the pregnancy test for memories. Guess she forgot her glasses, it very clearly says NOT pregnant. FML
Today, I had to comfort my wife after she found out that her boyfriend wasn't faithful to her. FML
Today, I found out my husband has been telling everyone he doesn't want a baby. He has been telling me he does. We have been trying for months. I'm now pregnant and confused. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, I found out my wife of 19 years has been cheating on me. She told me that all the "cheating music" that she's been playing the last year and a half should've been a good enough hint. FML
Today, I found out that my kids are both my half-brothers, and the fertility tests my wife had us do a few years ago showed that I'm sterile. She didn't tell me until I found the test results in her desk and asked her about it. FML
Today, my doctor told me I'm pregnant. Since we've been trying for several years, I called my husband to tell him the good news. Not long after, my doctor called to inform me there'd been a clerical mix-up and I'm not actually pregnant after all. FML
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Top comments
kirrra 11
what a cruel joke, I think your wife has some growing up to do before you both have a baby for real
wolfgold2 20
Fake like you're sterile.
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Comments (78)
akballerchicity 11
Get back at her.
flamingice13 11
when your actually ready to have a baby and she goes "guess what im pregnant" respond back with "guess what ur getting an abortion"
silverstream20 20
That's a terrible joke. I think you might have to think long and hard before you consider having s real child.
r00nie 10
Better to not be, when wanting to be than the other way around. Anyways, you have an awesome wife
chosha_fml 27
Next she'll be getting at you for not trusting her.
liz622 3
Wait a few months and tell her you got some other girl pregnant and your leaving her for the pregnant chick because you have always wanted to be a dad and you don't feel like she would be a good mother with all the lying and bullshit.
oregonchris 8
******* awesome!
Saintdyn 9
Should have pretended like you were so happy because the doctor told you that you were sterile,
psycheiris13 20
That is a horrible joke! I hope she at least apologized. I wouldn't dream of playing such a prank on my husband.
jdlanam87 9
I think it's funny. If I were her id atleast take you out to diner. Laugh and get along with life. Next time ask to see the pee stick :-)