Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML
Today, my wife told me she’s pregnant and we went through the whole range of emotions together, surprise, happiness, tears, anger, acceptance, you name it. An hour later she said she wanted to save the pregnancy test for memories. Guess she forgot her glasses, it very clearly says NOT pregnant. FML
Today, I had to comfort my wife after she found out that her boyfriend wasn't faithful to her. FML
Today, I found out my husband has been telling everyone he doesn't want a baby. He has been telling me he does. We have been trying for months. I'm now pregnant and confused. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, I found out my wife of 19 years has been cheating on me. She told me that all the "cheating music" that she's been playing the last year and a half should've been a good enough hint. FML
Today, I found out that my kids are both my half-brothers, and the fertility tests my wife had us do a few years ago showed that I'm sterile. She didn't tell me until I found the test results in her desk and asked her about it. FML
Today, my doctor told me I'm pregnant. Since we've been trying for several years, I called my husband to tell him the good news. Not long after, my doctor called to inform me there'd been a clerical mix-up and I'm not actually pregnant after all. FML
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Top comments
kirrra 11
what a cruel joke, I think your wife has some growing up to do before you both have a baby for real
wolfgold2 20
Fake like you're sterile.
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Comments (78)
FmlYdi4ever 15
Make her pregnant.
Kamon97 23
Seriously? What a bitch -.-
vipirius 18
Well if she thinks that's acceptable it's probably a good thing she was faking it because she's nowhere near mature enough to be a mother.
Zwingend 15
She and her friends have a pretty warped sense of humor. Let's just hope any future (real) children don't inherit that particular trait.
MLPcuzYOLO 5
I'm sure she wants to have a real baby with you. This was just a trial run to see how you might be as an expectant dad. I'm sure you passed with flying colors because you're a great person!
ridemyrocket 9
maybe Op was excited to have the kid in the first place.....
yerawizardlizzy 27
No shit!! That makes the joke that much more cruel.
razzledazzle21 23
That is so messed up. If I were you, I would have a hard time trusting anything she says.
chabelo 10
pretend that you don't know, have unprotected sex and tell her that anyway she can't get pregnant twice
SouthernLady12 13
While it was a bad joke try to put this in the past. She was just trying to have fun with the girls, odd fun but none the less. Tell her that's not something to joke about and leave it alone. The guilt will get her and serve its own justice if you react in a mature way.
Kreig1996 5
um..no. most people who play jokes like that have no sense for guilt. it wouldn't help.
doglover100 29
She has a weird sense of humour.
homesuckfucker 28
op, it sounds like you need to have a serious talk with your wife. try to make her understand the difference between a harmless joke and emotionally crushing her husband. she may have seen the whole ordeal as hilarious, but you should explain to her why it is not. when she realizes her error, move on from this and mature together before really having a child.
carterjanelle 9
I don't see anywhere in his post mentioning how terribly disappointed he was about her not really being pregnant......
Jaxxi 9
45, the fact that he posted this FML shows some sort of disappointment in her. At least that's what it seems to me.
yerawizardlizzy 27
"**** my life" sounds pretty disappointed to me.