Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while making out, my clean-shaven husband pulled away because he could feel my lip hairs tickling him. I thought he was making a joke so I called him a tosser and walked away. Later I checked in the mirror and there they were, two black hairs swinging in the breeze right under my nose. FML
Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said, "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML
Today, I was feeling up my girlfriend's chest. I was getting into it until she said, "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "That's not my nipple, its a pimple." FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my shirt off, she saw my chest acne. She ran out of my house and hasn't spoken to me in 5 hours. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Today, while fingering my girlfriend in the dark, I tried to be sexy and licked my fingers. After we turned the lights back on, we realized that her period had come early. FML
Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML
Today, I was laying in bed making out with a girl. After trying to figure out for a while why she was spending so much time on my neck it finally hit me. She was frantically and secretly trying to remove the gum she got stuck in my hair. She failed. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked in on me in the bathroom. That's how he found out that I wax my nipples. FML
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Top comments
Jacked97grand 9
Time my friend, give her time
WeemanIsBack 3
Did she have a brother who walked in on her trying to pluck it off a few days ago?
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Comments (115)
whomshallIfear 4
You shouldn't have left the situation like that; when you saw how embarrassed she got you should have hugged her tight, gazed deeply into her eyes, and then told her you love her.... but don't sweat, this is going to be one of those things you guys reminisce and laugh about down the line
poccocurantes 7
Yes, let this be a lesson to you. Pull one loose thread and there goes the whole sweater. Of course in this case it is a nipple hair and a relationship but you get the metaphor.
Pix3lJunk 12
Such an ignorant.
Neonemerld 21
Such an grammar fail.
CharresBarkrey 16
Such irony.
Grimmerie 31
Hate to break it to you, but I'm pretty sure 30 was doing that on purpose.
CharresBarkrey 16
Why would you point out improper grammar with more improper grammar?
kawaitabemono 2
46 because its sarcasm.
Charleybelle 14
"After having sex with my girlfriend for the first time I realized I was in love with her" Ohmygod.
lux0rd 18
He was clearly using the wrong head.
CharresBarkrey 16
Seems a bit backwards, but maybe I'm just old fashioned.
Charleybelle 14
It's definitely backwards. That's what's wrong with the new generation.
rachelphillie 1
Considering we don't know OP's age I don't think it's fair to blame it on the new generation. Not everybody from the new generation is promiscuous or has sex with someone before they love them, anyways.
Levvy 22
"Wrong with"? What are you talking about? It gives you an excuse to label yourself as superior to an entire "generation" of humanity. Not that you wouldn't find one on your own if it didn't.
PrincessLiLi_fml 7
Those who criticize the new generation often forget who raised it.
CharresBarkrey 16
79 - She's 20. I highly doubt she raised the new generation. Regardless of OP's age, this is backwards.
Charleybelle 14
Haha 79 I definitely didn't raise a generation. I'm talking about the 13 year olds that are already having sex and doing drugs. Obviously THEIR parents are to blame.
iwillreapyou 19
This is a incredibly late reply but how can you blame the parents? If anything it makes sense to blame the peers and society. Parents are the least influence these days.
panda_lou 11
Everybody saying give her time she will come back to you is crazy. I know that if I had an embarrassing moment like this one I wouldnt ever want to see you again no matter how much I liked you. If you want her back you are going to need to do some serious clean up. Tell her how beautiful she is and make her understand you aren't judging her. It might take a bit of work but she will eventually come around. Also I don't think actual love happens suddenly after sex. . .
Rosicles 8
Cut the guy some slack. He perhaps could have realised as it was such a moving intimate experience for them. I don't know, maybe it's just me but I didn't take it in a shallow 'I love you cause you finally put out' kind of way.
lysx84 24
You'd let a little embarrassment get in the way of a lifetime of happiness? Can I assume you've never accidentally farted in front of a partner?
CrissyyyS2 22
You're joking right? Are you that self conscious about yourself to not even be able to do natural things around your boyfriend and or girlfriend if other way around. I'm so comfortable with mine that we even talk about our poop together LOL. I think it's cute if you have someone you love help you tweeze some hairs, help the other shave, have burping contests and whatever. Just because we are "female" doesn't mean we can't fart or burp or anything. That's all in your mind. Guys... Of course girls burp and fart and stuff.. They just don't because they're worried about what you think. Like "omg, disgusting". It's nature. Hop off.
CharresBarkrey 16
18 - I think you would benefit by learning some humility. You shouldn't get embarrassed about things so meaningless and natural.
doLLe 21
You must be very insecure if you can't see someone you care for again after somthing that is so insignificant
chocolemonade 6
I agree with 20, 100%. Everyone is human. Having body hair is not something people should be ashamed of. It's natural. People tweeze and shave but a few strays are HARDLY relationship ending. If you're so ashamed of the normal human body, I weep for your future marriage.
marcelmg 10
That's your punishment for having sex with the lights on!
luke_bryan_fan 6
She was probably embarrassed and only needs time. Posting this on FML though, isn't going to make it any less embarrassing.
robo_thunder 13
How many times did you have to tug it? I'm sure once would have been enough but from the way this is written it sounds like you gave it a few more than necessary.
anabelgraceaxton_fml 15
Yeah ok, you realized you loved her whilst having sex. ok. But obviously, you shouldn't have touched it. You could've quietly mentioned at the end.
Bibliovore 26
He said he thought it was an eyelash, hence not an issue; it wasn't until he tried to remove it (possibly even for the romance of the make-a-wish-and-blow-it-away thing) that he realized it was attached.
uzkebasi 7
Make sure you let her know that you thought it was an eyelash, and really don't care that it was nipple hair! Text it to her if she won't return your calls. Just don't stay stay silent or she might think that you were grossed out and don't want to see her again.
SweetasCandy0609 28
You had to tug on it a few times before noticing it wasn't an eyelash? If it was an eyelash on her boob it would of came off really easy and you wouldn't of had to tug on it