Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while making out, my clean-shaven husband pulled away because he could feel my lip hairs tickling him. I thought he was making a joke so I called him a tosser and walked away. Later I checked in the mirror and there they were, two black hairs swinging in the breeze right under my nose. FML
Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said, "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML
Today, I was feeling up my girlfriend's chest. I was getting into it until she said, "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "That's not my nipple, its a pimple." FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my shirt off, she saw my chest acne. She ran out of my house and hasn't spoken to me in 5 hours. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Today, while fingering my girlfriend in the dark, I tried to be sexy and licked my fingers. After we turned the lights back on, we realized that her period had come early. FML
Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML
Today, I was laying in bed making out with a girl. After trying to figure out for a while why she was spending so much time on my neck it finally hit me. She was frantically and secretly trying to remove the gum she got stuck in my hair. She failed. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked in on me in the bathroom. That's how he found out that I wax my nipples. FML
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Top comments
Jacked97grand 9
Time my friend, give her time
WeemanIsBack 3
Did she have a brother who walked in on her trying to pluck it off a few days ago?
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Comments (115)
Jacked97grand 9
Time my friend, give her time
shmoelover 13
And maybe some tweezers.
WingsFan80 4
Or a razor
RaveBlade 4
Its not true love if you fall in loge with her after sex.
gc327072 31
50- Not sure what loge is, but what about Natural Log? ln(girlfriend)=love
Sir_ND_Pity 35
69 - Solve for "girlfriend": e^(ln(girlfriend)) = e^(love) girlfriend = e^(love) But, since love seems to be negative here... girlfriend = e^(- love) girlfriend = 1 / e^(love) If we take the limit of love as it approaches infinity... girlfriend = 1 / (infinity) girlfriend = 0 So, in conclusion, OP has no girlfriend :)
Thebroskii 11
50 - He didnt fall in love with her after sex, he just realized it. Its still bad, just clarifying.
Tdrizzzzzly 19
It happens to a select few of us from time to time.... My girlfriend has a couple hairs around her nipples but I know if I say something she'll be all self conscious!
AbstraktThoughts 13
I don't understand how you're supposed to bring this topic up to your gf without making her feel self conscious. Personally, I'd want to know if I had hair growing around my nipples xD
rhaemese 9
God 48'a comment just made my life. But I do agree with 48 as well. You should at least know if you have nipple hairs..
skyeyez9 25
Its hilarious because her profile is a pic of a dog when she was trying to make her valid point.
laurenvec 3
It depends on where the hair is. If she has big boobs and it's around the bottom of her nipple, it would be difficult to notice.
chocolemonade 6
Actually, I have a few nipple hairs (I tweeze them) and as 82 said, when you have big boobs/nipples they can be hidden underneath or to the side. Someone looking at them would see them but for the person with the boobs? Almost impossible. I definitely find a few surprise ones every now and again.
Harpy20 24
Honest mistake. It's easy to ignore calls. Leave a voicemail or Text her and tell her how you feel.
TheZee 12
Just make sure that in that text message or voice mail, do not mention how you finally realized you were in love with her *after you had sex* o_O
imp4ct 15
Give her time, if she has the same feelings for you she'll want you back.
IcemistDragon 20
Give her some time and then throw her a text.
KiRaKaT 9
I'm curious as to how one "throws" a text
Mister_Triangle 21
With your arms, obviously.
buck33 14
I prefer shooting a text but that's just me.
mackischillin 5
Throwing a text is the shit now, give it a try.
misspulkadot24 17
F her life, I'm sure that wasn't the way she wanted things to go her first time with you. Like everyone above me is saying, give her time, let her know you are here for her, even through embarrassing times :)
chrisp87 11
I'm sure you got some hairy nipples too fat ass.
WeemanIsBack 3
Did she have a brother who walked in on her trying to pluck it off a few days ago?
awesomeman10 6
I was just about to ask that lol
friedpwnadge 25
The culture of the FML forums is unmistakeable. We are Legion.
bwzwally8 15
You just have to wait for things to cool off she will come around
lux0rd 18
You had sex with her and suddenly realised you loved her. Sounds legit.
shaagy2760 13
Kid these days don't know what love is
dunebro 15
#11 and #16
taranpreet 7
Maybe they've been going out for a long time and the sex was the deal maker (is that a phrase?) either way I'd say that's pretty good.
The_F3rris 11
What would a "nobody" know about love? Youre an empty shell.
jmelsha11 11
#59- Deal Breaker
Carmstro 13
I was thinking the same thing. I remember learning that guys will think they're in love after having sex, because the hormones released make them a lot more emotional.
russfml 31
Sounds a lot like hormones too :P
billigoat 8
85- Oxytocin is released in both man and woman during sex. Also, it IS love. Oxytocin is the same chemical released during birth that causes you to love and care about your child. It's also released during breastfeeding. So his case is entirely plausable.
Jennielee 6
I was with my boyfriend for a while before we had sex. When we finally did I realized I was in love with him afterwards. We've been married for going on 11 years now. I love him very much and we are still going strong. So, it's not a shallow thing and is completely possible.
mitzygarcia92 2
I think making love with someone just gives you a deeper bond , you feel their body warmth . Idk sometimes you just fall even more in love with that person
Obey_StudBoii 23
Just give her time time and tell her you love her body regardless.
nrr13145768 13
Not just her body. Her brain and personality too