Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while making out, my clean-shaven husband pulled away because he could feel my lip hairs tickling him. I thought he was making a joke so I called him a tosser and walked away. Later I checked in the mirror and there they were, two black hairs swinging in the breeze right under my nose. FML
Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said, "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML
Today, I was feeling up my girlfriend's chest. I was getting into it until she said, "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "That's not my nipple, its a pimple." FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my shirt off, she saw my chest acne. She ran out of my house and hasn't spoken to me in 5 hours. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Today, while fingering my girlfriend in the dark, I tried to be sexy and licked my fingers. After we turned the lights back on, we realized that her period had come early. FML
Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML
Today, I was laying in bed making out with a girl. After trying to figure out for a while why she was spending so much time on my neck it finally hit me. She was frantically and secretly trying to remove the gum she got stuck in my hair. She failed. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked in on me in the bathroom. That's how he found out that I wax my nipples. FML
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Top comments
Jacked97grand 9
Time my friend, give her time
WeemanIsBack 3
Did she have a brother who walked in on her trying to pluck it off a few days ago?
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Comments (115)
DanielleinDC 34
How long did it take before you realized it was a nipple hair (which is not terribly uncommon on women, boys)?
pistolstar_fml 2
If she never comes back you are better off someone that uptight is no fun and she likely used this as an excuse and don't like you that much, sorry OP
SpRiTzSpLaSh 7
How was she not aware of it?
UniqueAnt21 3
How did you not see that when you was having sex with her. You she be just as embarrass for allowing that.
PincessBoff 6
*were *you should *embarrassed
rebecamp494 5
Awe, she is just a little self conscious about it I guess... Don't worry op, just give her some time and send her a text saying how beautiful she is and that you love her no matter what!
Twisted_Angel 17
Oh dear god... "After having sex" that's not love. that's lust. she gave you something, and now might be taking it away. couple of questions op: 1) were you a virgin before this? 2) How did you not know after the first tug, that it wasn't an eyelash?
gymnastlove 4
DOESN'T MATTER HAD SEX
OhCrapItsYOU 1
"WeemanIsBack's comment : Did she have a brother who walked in on her trying to pluck it off a few days ago?" lol i read that one aswell. :P and this situation made me chuckle.
kingsian 15
Naw y'all is all wrong all OP had to do was gently nibble on her nipple to get rid of the lil hair. Which would make her turned on still and there's no more hair on her nipple for OP see everybody wins
divadro102 16
You tugged at it a few times lol.. What's. Up. With. This. Eyelashhh