Today, and ever since she got pregnant, my girlfriend has been hinting that one of her great-grandfathers was black, so there’s a chance our son may be black too. I wasn’t suspicious before, but she has mentioned it so often I’m starting to think it’s less a great grandad and more a baby daddy issue. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my "grandson". Even though my son and his wife are both lily white, the child was clearly half-black. I pulled my son aside to have a word, but he said, "Her grandmother was black and she has recessive genes, it's really rare." I can't believe I raised this dumbass. FML
Today, my only child introduced his new girlfriend to me. He is 36 and has no children. She is 46 and has a pregnant daughter who she is very close with. I don't know if I'll ever be a grandfather, but in any case, my son is going to be one before me. FML
Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML
Today, my son was finally born. He was the perfect weight, as healthy as can be, and has his father’s dark, chocolate complexion. At least I’m guessing so, since both my wife and I are white. FML
Today, my girlfriend revealed she'd had an abortion. I wasn’t even aware she’d been pregnant, and she admitted it’s because my grandad and two of my siblings have autism, and she didn’t want to risk having an autistic child and dealing with the shame. FML
Today, my now ex-fiancée confessed that "our" child is most likely actually hers and my father's. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, I overheard my caucasian mother on the phone lamenting to a friend that her future grandchildren won’t “look American”. Any future grandchildren of hers would be half Lakota native. FML
Today, my girlfriend found out that she's pregnant and has spent the last 5 hours in the bathroom crying at “what her father is going to think”. She’s 32 years old for god's sake, in an adult relationship, and still thinks her father is going to be angry at her. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML
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Top comments
D J's MOM 17
simply tell her that great granddad or no, you're gonna request a DNA paternity test when the baby is born, even if it's white. my guess is she's gonna freak over that. she may have cheated with more than one guy.
JackWood 21
Pretty sure blackness doesn't skip 3 generations.
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Comments (7)
cariboucontainer 22
Ask to see a family picture lol
D J's MOM 17
simply tell her that great granddad or no, you're gonna request a DNA paternity test when the baby is born, even if it's white. my guess is she's gonna freak over that. she may have cheated with more than one guy.
JackWood 21
Pretty sure blackness doesn't skip 3 generations.
kitten79TX 5
Actually, it can. Genetics are like a random lottery.
poopface82 25
Put it this way - my ex-wife has a great grandparent who was full blooded Cherokee. She appeared white, and our children came out white. Had one of them come out looking more Cherokee than my ex, well, it wouldn’t be because she’s 1/8 Cherokee. Your woman ****** a black dude. Now she’s scared shitless.
RichardPencil 32
I know what you're going to get your kid for its zeroth birthday: A 23-and-Me test. Let the bio dad support the kid and the cheating *****.
blargerpanda 13
White is recessive, if that baby is black and you're both white, it isn't yours no matter what grandparents either of you have.
core01 30
You mean white is dominant? Recessive genes don't express if dominate genes override
DLBL 23
This is from 2022. Anyway, you can get a paternity test before the baby is born. Mom's blood and "Dad's" cheek cells. apparently baby's DNA is free-floating in Mom's blood; who knew !