Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while making out, my clean-shaven husband pulled away because he could feel my lip hairs tickling him. I thought he was making a joke so I called him a tosser and walked away. Later I checked in the mirror and there they were, two black hairs swinging in the breeze right under my nose. FML
Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said, "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML
Today, I was feeling up my girlfriend's chest. I was getting into it until she said, "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "That's not my nipple, its a pimple." FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my shirt off, she saw my chest acne. She ran out of my house and hasn't spoken to me in 5 hours. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Today, while fingering my girlfriend in the dark, I tried to be sexy and licked my fingers. After we turned the lights back on, we realized that her period had come early. FML
Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML
Today, I was laying in bed making out with a girl. After trying to figure out for a while why she was spending so much time on my neck it finally hit me. She was frantically and secretly trying to remove the gum she got stuck in my hair. She failed. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked in on me in the bathroom. That's how he found out that I wax my nipples. FML
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Top comments
Jacked97grand 9
Time my friend, give her time
WeemanIsBack 3
Did she have a brother who walked in on her trying to pluck it off a few days ago?
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Comments (115)
Flying_Camel 9
You must have thought that was one big ass eyelash.
helen29 4
sorry but which ever girls have nipple hairs should PLUCK them before going to have sex! b prepared ladies!!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I'm more concerned about OP not realizing he loved his girlfriend until AFTER they had sex than him picking at a nipple hair. Regardless, OP, you don't mess with crap on your girlfriend's boobs unless you're sure you know what it is. I guess I can understand the mistake, and yes she overreacted, but still...gah
awaydoggy 8
I don't get it why u get so many "deserve", u were just a innocent virgin boy a couple of days ago. Fyl
sgtcxelite 11
OP: You unintentionally pointed out a flaw, and no one likes having their flaws pointed out. She's just embarrassed and self-conscious. Text her and apologize, compliment her, and give her time. As for others: You can't say someone doesn't know what love is just because of their age. There is no certain point in life that someone magically gets the capability to understand love.
False_Stupidity 42
Send her a bunch of flowers and don't mention it ever.
fostern13 2
did she have hair on her balls as well?
maty172 14
Everyone has hair.... you sir, are an ass
schnitzel123 11
Oh man that sucks. She'll call back in a few days :)
icepick23 12
So what, at least you ****** her--stop whining.
rawdoglyfe69 7
That's what you get for falling in love after having sex