UnComfortablyNumb
Hatfield, United Kingdom
Uncomfortably Numb
Today, I bought variety condoms. I chose one called "Endurance" thinking it would be extra strong, put it on him, and gave it a suck. I realised my mistake when my lips and mouth went numb. It has benzocaine on to delay him. I still can't feel my mouth. FML
Top comments
Dr_Alex 10
Not to add insult to injury... but you also managed to put it on backwards... Benzocaine is supposed to make the penis numb, not the ******, so it's usually put on the inside of a condom.
LAUGHINGKOMODO 25
Don't you suck before you put the condom on?
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Comments (35)
Dr_Alex 10
Not to add insult to injury... but you also managed to put it on backwards... Benzocaine is supposed to make the penis numb, not the ******, so it's usually put on the inside of a condom.
LAUGHINGKOMODO 25
Don't you suck before you put the condom on?
zuckerburg 21
and get his herpes? STD's stay STD's no matter which hole it goes into hey...
Rabite 28
Didn't you and all the people who upvoted this ever go to a sex ed class?
LAUGHINGKOMODO 25
No. Wtf do I need a sex ed class for lol
sohigh10 34
The risk of oral transmission of STD's with no visible symptoms is negligible. Good on OP for practising safe sex no matter what, but the risk is not comparable to unprotected penetrative intercourse.
Waxman_ 6
not if you want to avoid STD's.
Donut_Wizard 23
Next, try the one that adds +10. Charisma, and then the one labeled Berserk.
julfunky 29
Meh, I’d rather take a +10 Agility condom over Charisma condom.
RichardPencil 32
He doesn’t care if you can’t feel your mouth. All the more reason to keep sucking away!
zuckerburg 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI. But what I can't stop wondering is, this is 2018... right? Why the HELL does a woman have to be responsible for condoms still? How daft/immature is your boyfriend to not have or provide his own for sexy times? Women need to stop coddling these a-holes and make them grow up and take a bit of responsibility. "Oh you forgot condoms? no problem, no sex for you" <-- see how fast he starts remembering to bring.
Lalala579121 28
The real FML here is you.
Sinshine 28
How about it's both people's responsibility? You have some issue of you have penitence with a woman buying condoms to have a good time with her partner.
Tarlachia 33
Do they have a numbing condom for your bitching?
javiigar987 3
its called whiskey
DanielleinDC 34
And maybe they take turns buying the condoms, and it was her turn to buy. Or maybe she decided to spice things up by buying variety condoms.
jkjorn 18
Now I understand what that song "I can't feel my face when I'm with you" REALLY means.
QueenAfrodite 8
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Lobby_Bee 18
Might not get head, but got some peace and quiet for a little bit.
Mungolikecandy 19
I gather he tends to usually be out of the gate faster than a greyhound in order to require "Endurance"?
AXel2169 23
SHE bought condoms, and didn't know the "endurance" ones were numbing condoms. So, no.
Gubbon 17
She thought endurance means extra strong.
DanielleinDC 34
Did you read the label to see how it would enable a guy to endure? And aren't there condoms specifically for oral sex?
ARISKomuniszt 24
Brain Freeze!