Today, my little brother walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex and threatened to tell my parents. I paid him $30 to keep quiet. 15 minutes later he told them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my little sister walked in on me and my boyfriend. I told her I would give her 10$ if she just pretended it never happened. She agreed, walked out and shut the door. Later, when my parents arrived, she yells: "Nicole and Joe were naked upstairs!" FML
Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML
Today, I snuck into my brother's room to scare him. Just as I was about to go for it, his girlfriend calls. I had to sit there motionless listening to my brother having phone sex, then wait for him to go to sleep and sneak back out to pretend it never happened. FML
Today, my 19-year-old brother broke into my dorm and robbed me. When I tried to file a report, my brother went to my parents and told them that he took it because I owed him money on a bet. Guess who lost $92.50. FML
Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML
Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML
Today, my brother finally paid me the $60 he owed me. I later found out that he'd stolen those $60 from my wallet. FML
Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML
Today, after assuring my best friend that his girlfriend would never cheat on him, I came home to my brother having loud sex with my best friend's girlfriend. FML
Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML
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Top comments
Awahso 25
Well, only one option left. Go smack him around until you get your money back.
kingkobrastrikes 13
you have to remember, OP, that you cannot trust little siblings even if you pay them. They get the money and get you in trouble. It's a win-win for the little bugger's. Sorry, but YDI.
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Comments (142)
Awahso 25
Well, only one option left. Go smack him around until you get your money back.
ManateeRex 14
Where's mah monay bitch!
bluebluhblou 15
the moral of this story is that if you kiss and don't tell, your brother will tell.
Just_A_Tree 20
I think the real moral of this story is that locks are a magical thing, and little siblings are in the business of snapping necks and cashing checks and don't give a damn about their bad reputation.
Lancer033 5
#1 make sure you have dirt on him, #2 standard payment for not ratting out an older sibling is not getting beat up. stop being a pussy. YDI.
littleteapot 21
The doors in my house are easily unlocked with a butter knife, credit card, penny, or pretty much anything. Maybe OP's locks suck like mine. On a side note, if you do have to beat your money out of him... used a rolled up phone book. No bruises! Another side note, don't beat your little brother.
Astrum14 24
Or maybe there's no locks at all. Lots of older houses don't have locks on the door. I had to install one myself in the last place I lived. And if they're renting, they might not be able to do that, depending on the person you're renting from.
KitchKraft 21
He deserved it for having sex in a place where his little brother would walk in. It's none of my business what a person's sex life is like, but they should be more careful or not complain when they get caught.
Wakachulak 22
I second 91. Just pawn his PlayStation.
reneetlovesyou 30
I agree with 118. If you're still living with your parents and have to sneak around to have sex, that's a sign you probably shouldn't be doing it.
em_the_g 12
I guess he doesn't like bribery :/
iLike2Teabag 27
Or he's found a way to make $2 per minute without lifting a finger. Pretty smart if you ask me.
Mysterious_one 26
not so smart.. little brother could have made more money out of it
2ophiia 22
107: if he were in it for the money, I don't think he would have told! That takes away any future chances of blackmail or bribes.
kingkobrastrikes 13
you have to remember, OP, that you cannot trust little siblings even if you pay them. They get the money and get you in trouble. It's a win-win for the little bugger's. Sorry, but YDI.
love_struck97 19
Siblings are supposed to have each others backs not snitch on eachother
MidnaLink 35
"Nicole and Joe were naked upstairs"! Remember that one.
Emzinatorbot 26
Steal your $30 when he's sleeping!
linkinpark98 24
That still won't cover up the fact that the guy's parents now know their son has been having sex in their house while his younger sibling was on loose. But hey, money is money!
IamHercules 24
"You want your damn thirty dollars back? I want my kidney back!" -John Locke
onlychildFTW 34
I loved LOST. It was an awesome show.
Darkness_Hate 29
Your brother is ready to be a deputee.
man_in_black08 28
It kinda makes me imagine if the concept of bribing came about from something like this in history.
TheAwesomeGuy123 11
Time for a learning session
gerardwhy 21
Next time make sure there won't be any interruptions.
Just_A_Tree 20
Invest $30 into a lock or something to block your door, not in a little sibling.
nietzche 8
That must be a jewish family. He cant
mrmcleod 29
I hope you got your hush money back OP.