Today, I sabotaged my marriage by putting the idea of an open relationship that I never wanted into my husband's head. Why the fuck? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I contemplated leaving my husband because his best friend is overbearing and doesn't respect the boundaries of our relationship, all while talking bad about me to him. FML
Today, my husband’s been dropping hints he wants to open our marriage. When I got home, a couple of his coworkers dropped by "for drinks". They tried to initiate group sex and figured I just needed to be talked into it. I was so mad, I couldn’t throw everyone out fast enough, including him. FML
Today, I thought I’d get revenge on my cheating husband by seducing the woman he’s been seeing behind my back. Unfortunately, even though I’ve never been attracted to women, I’ve inexplicably fallen head over heels in love with her. What now? FML
Today, I realized why my husband had been seemingly wanting to improve our relationship by sending little texts throughout the day for the last couple of months, asking what I was doing. It was so he could find out when would be the best time to have his girlfriend over and cheat on me. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating again. Not wanting to lose him, I suggested we try opening our relationship and being poly. He flew into a rage and swore I was just trying to think of an excuse to get back at him by screwing a bunch of randos. I can’t win. FML
Today, I broke it off with my mistress so that I could work on my marriage. Shortly after, my wife received an anonymous message, saying that I'd been unfaithful. FML
Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML
Today, my husband scraped his shin while trying to pull down our window blinds. He screamed and shouted at me, because it was "all my fault." How? I opened the blinds the day before, and rolled them up "too high." I'm staying married despite all this toxicity. FML
Today, I realized that I've been intentionally causing arguments with my husband because the spare bed is more comfortable. FML
Today, my husband cheated on me. In my house. While I was home. FML
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Top comments
peterblackmer91 12
What? This makes no sense to me whatsoever.
Jonkbaby 23
I'm guessing you were trying to test him, but you don't do things like that with your spouse. Marriage counseling isn't a terrible idea my friend
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Comments (9)
cuz803 46
There's more to this FML because this is stupefying. The base of it already sounds stupid and childish from the get go.
slhiggx 17
There must be a desire for an open relationship between or by the other spouse for it to be something you proposed, I’m just assuming. It’s not really a sabotage if you are both strong minded, trusting/trustworthy, and have mutual respect. There are plenty of married couples who pull off having an open relationship. It’s about setting boundaries and having strong communication skills, with the same end result in mind. If it’s not something your spouse wants, don’t press further. If it’s something they’d like to explore, I would suggest mentioning how you actually feel about it. And move from there. Just a suggestion. If there’s any jealousy, it most likely will not work out too well. Also there’s always they exclusive unicorn couples always try to find. Maybe that would be a better option?
jeepme 2
unicorns are ******* awesome!
peterblackmer91 12
What? This makes no sense to me whatsoever.
rainbowdonnareed 18
Like someone else said why bring it up if you didn't want to do it? Has your husband been hinting?
Chazzster 32
Never suggest something that you wouldn’t want your partner to accept. Do not ask a question that you cannot handle an honest answer to. I assume OP was hoping for a reassuring negative to the question. My own wife sometimes asks questions that she thinks she knows the answer to or makes a statement that she expects me to tell her is not true just so she will be reassured. Frankly I think this kind of behavior is immature and counterproductive, but both men and women sometimes do this.
Jonkbaby 23
I'm guessing you were trying to test him, but you don't do things like that with your spouse. Marriage counseling isn't a terrible idea my friend
QuEeNy01 2
To be fair, an ex wanted me to try an open relationship. I wasn't into it but agreed hoping it would help our issues as he made it sound. We came up with a contract together LOL little did I know, he already had someone in mind and I quickly realized this was NOT for me. It was too late.
OnReceivingEnd 18
Solid, undeniable proof that a woman can ask you a question, tell you the answer, and you'll STILL be wrong.