Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML
Serial killer vibes
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making the bed, at 2 AM. And he wasn't so much making the bed as he was holding a pillow while lost in thought, looking at me. FML
Sleepless in Longfield
Today, after not being able to sleep for two hours because my boyfriend wouldn't stop talking, he fell asleep and I was left wide awake. I listened to him snore for another three hours and only got a couple of hours sleep. He's not working today, but I am. FML
Today, my boyfriend elbowed me in the eye while we were sleeping. His excuse: "You shouldn't have stayed over." FML
Tetchy
Today, my partner got mad at me for forgetting to turn off the bedroom light when coming back from brushing my teeth, and has chosen to sleep in our spare bedroom over it. FML
Today, at four in the morning, I was asleep with my boyfriend beside me. I started yelling at him in my sleep and broke up with him. When I woke up, he was gone. FML
Today, my girl and I got in a huge fight. Because I cuddled with her the wrong way. While I was asleep. FML
He prefers the dog
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML
Today, in the midst of sleep, my boyfriend hurled my cellphone across the room and into the wall because he couldn't be bothered to pick up or hang up an incoming call. FML
Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML
Top comments
DocBastard 40
Sounds like his side of the bed SHOULD be the couch.
foreverhurt 6
Looks like someone's going though that time of the month...
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Comments (140)
thatpeachyperson 12
He needs to get his priorities straight.
folfg0 12
Sounds like bad bro advice gone wrong... You know sometimes guys try to give advice to help there bro in a relationship "don't let her sleep on your side of the bed! Be the boss! She will like that." And it's crap advice and then the guy uses it wrong on top of that... Yeah this is what happens as a result.
evilplatypus 39
8 - What kind of bros do you have if that's the kind if advice they give? That's the dumbest thing I've heard this week.
FYLminesGREAT 5
8- if thats your advice im guessing that your longest relarionship is what, 3 weeks?
Meettitan 14
55, 57- He was simply correlating bad bro advice with the FML. Please tone down the ignorance.
evilplatypus 39
58 - I'm aware of that; if you'll re-read my comment, you'll see that I'm mentioning I've never seen bro advice that idiotic. Judging by the amount of thumbs down the commenter got, quite a few people agree with me. And there's no need for rudeness.
Jag_v 7
Seems like he already does
imavelociraptor 6
I'm a girl and i personally feel like the guy should sort of "be in charge". I mean, it's always been that way. The wife stays home and cleans and the father goes out to work and puts food on the table. I don't mean i want to be a stay-at-home mom and let my husband walk all over me but if he can't stand up to me, how do i know he'll be able to stand up to a robber breaking into our house? As long as he is nice and says please and thank you i'll basically do what he says...
aztecz0r 6
#129- marry me
folfg0 12
Okay... So... You guys have never gotten bad advice from your friends?? Really? Can I have your friends then? My point was a guy friend tells him to stand up to her because of like a mom or bad ex girlfriend etc. then op's boyfriend takes it WAY too far and then feels like a dumbass for it. That was my entire point... No I don't think he did right nor do I think that the op over reacted. Just a bad situation.
Krajjan 9
129 - I'd ask the same thing, but I already have a wife... how do you feel about Mormonism?
cajekraze 7
OP needs to ditch the creep. A blow up over pillow placement is indicative of a severe social rage problem. Run, run far, run fast. Otherwise, you'll find yourself to be another battered woman rotting away on the inside as you're pummeled with fists and a vicious tongue that cuts you down because his toast was too dark
decidedlyvague 11
You're all dumb. He obviously has some pretty intense personal space issues. My advice, dump him. If you can't cuddle with someone that you're in a relationship with, that is sleeping in the same bed as you, then you shouldn't be sleeping in the same bed as them. Ever.
Yodaevil 4
In bed, my rules are simple. 1. No clothing 2. Best heat is body heat is best heat 3. Only one pillow needed, it will fit two heads close enough If your man can't stand a pillow crossing the line, you're getting screwed. And not in the good way
Beauty4794 5
Sounds like you're a pushover.. I feel like partners in a relationship should be equals, which means equal respect going both ways. Not the man over powering the women in every aspect, seems like you should be living in the 50's
sulitak 27
#129 my husband doesn't "stand up to me" or anything of the sort. we have rational conversations about shit, and show each other respect... oh and he'll have no problem taking care of a burglar... he's trained in martial arts.
foreverhurt 6
Looks like someone's going though that time of the month...
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Um, I hope you aren't being serious. He's a guy.... NO, I don't know sarcasm is!!
TheMathMajor 26
Men also go through hormone cycles. The more you know.
X_Codes 11
@56 - Thanks for the info, but seriously attempting to justify this kind of behavior with hormone cycles is just acting like a douche in attempt to cover up the fact that you're a douche. If this is how the guy acts while in bed with OP, then OP shouldn't let him sleep over for a while, if ever again.
TheMathMajor 26
I was really just playing along with 2, the male hormone cycle is actually only 24 hours and not a month like the female hormone cycle, so his comment doesn't make logical sense anyways, it was a joke. Obviously hormones shouldn't be excuses for aggressive and antisocial behavior.
DocBastard 40
Sounds like his side of the bed SHOULD be the couch.
michael666 7
YES! a DocBastard comment! this FML is complete! Haha.
lilhellian 27
27 Don't worry I'm sure doc has a diagnosis for your brown nose.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Soap and water should do it...
michael666 7
hahaha damn you really think so? Im good off prescriptions, ill stick to my herbs, haha.
boarderlyne17 8
67 -- Huh?
rhaemese 9
If he has so many problems with her pillow touching his side of the bed, he should live on his own in my opinion..
Waled 1
that right :D
howdeedoo 22
Well, look at the bright side: you have the whole bed to yourself now.
Acik91 26
Yep, and your pillow can go wherever you want.
jeragonm 15
Or he might come in and check to see if you violate his "space" again.
happle 21
I never really understood the concept of "sides." My boyfriend and I just lay in the bed, sometimes one of us is on the left, other times the right.
imavelociraptor 6
My little sister sleeps in my bed a lot and she always sleeps on the side by the window and i sleep by the door. Even if she isn't in there i sleep on my side just because i'm used to it and i'm comfortable there. It might also have something to do with my OCD but idk...
sulitak 27
#120... I have two reasons why my husband has a "side of the bed" 1. he feels that being closer to the door means he can better protect me 2. He's a mechanic, and even after a through shower... he has a lingering smell of diesel fuel and oil. Plus its actually better for your back in terms of how the mattress gets worn in, I know my booty and hips (and boobs) cause a wear pattern completely different from his, and he ends up in pain sleeping on my side of the bed [he does when I'm sick so I'm closer to the bathroom]
BulldogHoops 14
Hopefully he's not horny for a while
chellyX92 8
I think the total lack of respect is a more pressing issue than sex.
leadawg75 12
You don't say?!
sulitak 27
i think lack of respect = him not getting laid for a very very long time
Yunhee_fml 16
Well at least you have the bed to yourself now
s14240sx 7
Typical douchebagness!
lilhellian 27
Typical mainstream **** yea guy hating on douchebags. :P
lilhellian 27
Does nobody see the sarcasm?
Zomg_Okay 27
No.
Zomg_Okay 27
No.
decidedlyvague 11
I'm pretty sure it's Atypical behavior.
ariverperson 11
how DARE you let your pillow shift a few centimetres while you're asleep, what the **** is wrong with you OP!?
jep00 8
Haha damn straight!
SystemofaBlink41 27
Where is humanity headed?
hellproof023 6
Lock the door and start making sex noises.
chosha_fml 27
From his side of the bed. :)
mpsteve137 15
Why would you do such a thing