Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless guy had broken into my house and made it his home for the last 5 months. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I had just gotten home after being away for 8 months. My key didn’t work on my lock and while I was messing the door a man with a child opened. My landlord gave someone my apartment while I was away. FML
Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML
Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML
Today, after being in Europe for a month, I got home to find my door wide open and all my stuff gone. I called my dad who was supposed to be watching my house. He told me I should have had someone check on my place while I was gone. FML
Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML
Today, I got home and found all my things thrown out into the yard, including the stuff from my mancave, which I spent thousands of dollars on. Apparently, my girlfriend stopped for a visit while my wife was home. I’d stupidly given her a key. Turns out my wife called out sick today. FML
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Top comments
hannahtaskey 9
probably the best 5 months of his life.
Iamnotmyself 17
Considering your an army person, I would declare a battle for your house. Rules: One M16 2 clips 1 knife A grenade And a dog
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Comments (192)
iafkrofl 0
kick his ass
OsirisFaction_fml 5
Kill him and dump the body in a river, no one will miss him.
mighthov 1
Must be a shirty neighborhood if a homeless guy is walking around it.
skyviper 1
as a military member myself I say "you deserve it" for failing to have someone watch your house while deployed. next time you'll pay attention during that part of your predeployment briefing.
cablemirc 2
Next time let ME know when you deploy. I'll at least be kind enough to put beer in your fridge and not piss in corners of the living room. Free rent FTW!
theblackzach 0
Go Rambo on his ass
ishida1235 0
Serves u right for joining the army and not helping the homeless
AmethystRain 20
Hopefully he didn't invite "Dirty Mike and the Boys" over for beer and movie night.
madibrielle212 0
That must have smelled and looked nasty. I would have been so mad!
FrankieLynn 0
well at least the house did not sit empty! ask him for backrent