Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless guy had broken into my house and made it his home for the last 5 months. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I had just gotten home after being away for 8 months. My key didn’t work on my lock and while I was messing the door a man with a child opened. My landlord gave someone my apartment while I was away. FML
Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML
Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML
Today, after being in Europe for a month, I got home to find my door wide open and all my stuff gone. I called my dad who was supposed to be watching my house. He told me I should have had someone check on my place while I was gone. FML
Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML
Today, I got home and found all my things thrown out into the yard, including the stuff from my mancave, which I spent thousands of dollars on. Apparently, my girlfriend stopped for a visit while my wife was home. I’d stupidly given her a key. Turns out my wife called out sick today. FML
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Top comments
hannahtaskey 9
probably the best 5 months of his life.
Iamnotmyself 17
Considering your an army person, I would declare a battle for your house. Rules: One M16 2 clips 1 knife A grenade And a dog
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Comments (192)
phatdaddy62 23
Fortunately, not long enough for adverse possession!
Bandanabanana 4
Finders ceepers!
Kueezy 6
I'm guessing he was a Vietnam veteran.
AmethystRain 20
I'm guessing you're Vietnamese.
foxmatrix15 8
I would have killed him with ur firearm and told the cops he was an intruder who was breaking into ur home and scared u of ur life. Self-defense
deerslayer28 0
He deserve to be put down slowly and painfuly
lokrar789 7
Sleep with him. His home is your home;^)
chewy_21 0
Hey uh unlike everyone else who assuming army just bc deployment I'm going to say... In the AF they tell you to always have someone watch your shut when you deploy. I'm just saying. So as a fellow airman, totally deserved it bro.
CrazyGirl445 4
since your are a soldier you would think you'd be a little more caring about other people .
mask724 7
Legally if they are inside of your house you can kill them
cptcook 0
92 just kill yourself, 95 that dependsyou can't just kill someone fo being in your house! You have to "feel like your life was in danger" the bum sleepin on the couch don't make him a threat and idk what he was in but lA your not allowed to defend property... Nice try tho Fo unsuccessfully bein funny
mask724 7
Well, then you should move to gov't housing. Also when being attacked never defend yourself, the cops are just minutes away. ;)
perdix 31
Then, he's not homeless anymore and you've got a roommate, soldier. Thanks for your service, but remember what you were fighting for. If you went to defend freedom, justice and the American way, how would that look for you to confiscate the property of a citizen who found it in your absence?
harbqll 0
Your comment contains so many different levels of stupid I don't even know where to begin.
perdix 31
Then get off your fat, lazy ass and make an effort! I put a lot of hard work to work all those levels of stupid into my succinct post, the least you could do is put in the time and sweat to point them out. It's lazy, greedy, entitled bastards like you that are ruining our country.
chillinAK 9
Must be new harb. He is notorious for his pointed sarcasm. It's really not that hard to see.