Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after weeks of begging my boyfriend of almost two years to have sex with me, he told me to find someone else to fuck. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
Today, I was ready to have sex with my new boyfriend. Turns out he's a 30 year-old virgin who doesn't know shit. He couldn't find my vagina and was just humping my crotch, then when he finally got it in it was 5 pumps, a squirt and done. He thinks he did a good job. Now I have to teach him how to do it properly. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
redmnky21 8
wow... how old are you... sounds like your way to young for sex
mookie24 2
How old is this guy? You shouldn't have to persuade anybody to have sex
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (290)
SoultheWolf 19
It doesn't sound like after he agreed (which they way you put it kinda seems like you were badgering him) that you just went straight for it. If it took you that long to have sex there is a high chance he was a virgin and was extremely nervous, causing him to not be able to get an eruction fast enough. At the same time you said "nonlubricated vagaina" which means that YOU were not turned on either. Next time try some foreplay before trying to force him to have sex. You don't need a bottle of lube to have sex, between the ****** and penis there is plenty of natural lube.
mizzougirl15 2
He's a keeper....(not)
kittehkatrawrr 2
Well, he sounded like he wasn't ready. Or else he'd defo be up for it... And know what he was doing.
Scruffy618 0
I'm a guy and I agree with the statement that not all male's are sex crazed. Most of my friends are women but of my guy friends, not all of them are determined to get laid at all hours of the day. Besides, it's yet to come up that a lot of girls are just as bad about trying to have sex all the time as the "sex crazed" guys you keep talking about. So stop trying to act like Red. Neither of you know everything. Damn.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Um...how old is he? I don't think he's mature enough for sex if that's how he thought it was done.
savannah_07 3
I think you need a new boyfriend! It shouldnt take a year to get him to try and if he doesnt get arroused when he sees you naked he's definately not interested. You two are not on the same page and dont want the same things in your relationship.
chestateegold 1
219 thats pretty ignorant. when i lost my viriginity to my gf (well tried to) i couldnt get it up. I was really nervous. and i bet he was too. and if YOU think that sex is what determines whether a relationship is going to be good or not I am afraid you need a re-education...
bazookya 1
What a Mac daddy! FYL indeed!
cmb8280 24
Stop dating virgins
mehr_hehr_hehr 7
You do realize Christians don't have sex before marriage? This person is in Texas, where many Christians are, so he might have tried to stick to religious belief.
flyingfox408 0
You are correct sir