Today, after 9 months in our relationship, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. We had incredible, mind-blowing sex. An hour later, he broke up with me because apparently "my orgasm face is ugly." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, I had my first orgasm. Unfortunately, it was during breakup sex. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML
Today, my husband and I made a sex tape because I thought it sounded fun. After we watched it, I learned I have the ugliest orgasm face I've ever seen. Now I don't want sex ever again because all I can think about is how stupid I look. FML
Today, after waiting to losing our virginity together, we finally did it, only for my boyfriend to claim he doesn't understand how people enjoy sex, since he found the waiting stressful, the sex awkward and undignified, the orgasm unimpressive and so sticky, he was desperate for a shower afterwards. FML
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Top comments
SimpleSimon 0
Nobody loses their virginity with "incredible, mind-blowing sex". Nobody.
zerkabaius 0
just tell him that it is ok and you'd prefer a bigger penis anyways
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Comments (187)
popcorncomics 0
O_o Nine months for that?
bloodthorn 4
YDI for having an ugly face
_cheeseballs 0
Some people take their time with sex. They don't rush into bed on the night.
Ughsucks 0
Fake... there is no such thing as mind blowing sex for the first time. Even if the dude was as small as piece of celery.
Velorium 0
Agreed. I don't think anyone would call first-time sex "mind blowing." If they legitimately would, they deserve any let downs there-after.
Lmao_xD 0
same. who has mind blowing sex the first time. its your first; how do u really know what mind blowing is
lolbulla 0
maybe because it felt that way to them?
scarfy_fml 0
fake: real girls dont have orgasms
askmattnow 0
no one has "MIND BLOWING" sex on there first time
FarSide 23
Oh please. "Mind blowing" is relative. If it is a couple's first time, and if they both had orgasms, then for them it was mind blowing. Was for me and my wife the first time. And God have mercy... we have frequently enjoyed "mind blowing" * 5, wild, uninhibited, freestyle, chandelier, monkey sex. Never thought it would be better than the first time though. And, btw, it was hysterically funny... for some reason. In fact, after writing this, I think I'll go see if my sweetie is awake...
paperfox_fml 0
#139 - TMI. No one cares.
Emberlin 0
@ 5, 64, 86, and 115: When I lost it, it was the best sex I'd have for a couple of years to come. That being said, my guy was reeaallly experienced and I didn't have a full on ****** but it was still amazing sex. Sorry if yall didn't enjoy your first times but just cuz yall weren't naturals like some people, doesn't mean you have to bring everybody else down
DizzyDemon0 9
My first time sucked. Not because the sex was bad..but because I ended up in the hospital. Turns out i'm allergic to latex. Being found by your girl's father while she screams and you're passed out with a condom on, dick hard, is the worst ever. Good times...Good times..
chakrabs 0
Eh, do it doggy style
cadburyegg 0
Exactly what I was thinking.
Giselle468 0
Whats that supposed to mean?
DangerousBabee 0
Ah, exchanging of V-cards is so inconvienient. Neither of you are experienced and it gets broing :P Not that i know.. xD
auzzie_chik15 0
oh damn, that should be a FML
Maxine17 8
Ooooh, unlucky :( must have been really embarrassing.
SoreThroat 0
Yes, people that care for their relationship take time with sex. But he just broke up with her for an ugly ****** face. WHAT THE ****?
Piemarz 0
LOL He fails as do you for not working it out already.
AriesPrincess91 0
this is why i think sex before marriage is wrong, becuz once u loose it (ur virginity), ull never get it back. he just used that as an excuse, he dumped cuz ur too easy. but now days, most girls are too easy.
b1gdeezy95 0
OMG 9 months??? Im 14 and i met this girl at the mall yesterday and in the same day i got some alot of some :)
kitterkateee 0
I agree. I'm 15 and I've been dating this guy for a LONG time, and we decided together not to have sex, before marriage, if we get married.
efmlpt22 0
be quiet, that just stupid
LadyAshley 0
To #101: Where the **** did you hear that real girls don't have orgasms? Girls CAN have orgasms, but most women can't. I can have an ******, I have been able to have one for a long time.
raisethebar 0
A very small percentage of girls have orgasms solely through vaginal intercourse. maybe 17%. But girls do have orgasms. Are you retarded? Some are pre-orgasmic, meaning that they haven't had an ****** yet. And of course, some girls can never ******. Key word though "some".
aubrey1 0
I didn't really read it. too long.
SlaveToRetail 10
#181 LifeStyles "Skyn" condoms are a blessing for us allergic to latex, m'dear.
canadianhannah 18
@161, you're dumb af. I don't think there's such a thing as being a 'natural' at sex, because different people like different things. Besides that, you even said yourself that your guy was experienced, so that would have made it more enjoyable for you. If someone, like OP, lost their virginity at the same time as their boyfriend, it may not have been as enjoyable because of a lack of experience.
debbtennis 0
HAHAHAHAHA LMAO
iBimmer 0
YDI for not holding a mirror to look at yourself while having an ******.
sooper 0
ahaha, that's the best stupid ydi I've read.
redshortsx 0
there is NO way you orgasmed your first time
zimdelinvasor 0
Fail.
plexico 4
You probably overacted on the fake ******!
SimpleSimon 0
Nobody loses their virginity with "incredible, mind-blowing sex". Nobody.
my_mom_loves_me 0
that still doesnt mean its mind blowing?
Nick402 0
Well, yes, the first time is the best sex they've ever had, and to them it IS mindblowing, until they try it with someone else more experience, and then the standards are raised.
smiller0789 3
I didn't think my first time was mind-blowing at all. I was just, like, "This is it?". And, no, he wasn't a virgin. He claimed to have slept with 15 girls before me.
_insertnamehere_ 0
Mind blowingly painful maybe?? mind blowingly awkward.... aren't those better ways to describe a girl's first time?? But hey, if it really was mind blowingly good, then at least it wasn't horrible and then have him leave you cuz you bled or something. Point is, he's an asshole and probably watched too much **** and watched fake O-faces before he saw a real one.
smiller0789 3
Definitely made him get tested before he got to touch me :p
edenkylie 0
really? hmmm, because when I lost my virginity to my boyfriend it certainly wasn't mind-blowing. It was more like my ****** was being ripped apart from the inside. I don't know, maybe that's just me. Also, he probably left her because he wanted to have sex with other women.
staystrongholdon 0
You are amazing . AHAHA
zerkabaius 0
just tell him that it is ok and you'd prefer a bigger penis anyways
live_my_life245 0
hahahaha win
chocoLIFE_fml 2
i agree, that will make him sad :D
coolsunshinebear 14
Big penis does not equal better sex. Why be rude when he just did her the best favor by getting his shallow ass out of her life. I wouldn't want to be with someone like that for more than one date let alone 9 months. Now she knows what kind of person he is... he needs to stop being a child... and be mature.
survivalism 0
#5 +1
nmirles 0
Tell him that's what your face looks like when you're faking it.
shudder_glasses 0
ahahha thats funny
JennyRaye25 0
haha!
_babyxdoll 0
you don't deserve a jerk like that you wasted 9 months of your life :) and you're probaly really bad at faking or you just have an ugly face? idk.
genius_man16 1
Your boyfriend is a dumbass. I'll have mind-blowing sex with you.