Today, I found out my brand new $3,000 mattress that is supposed to relieve my back pain works amazingly. I only discovered this because my wife, son, daughter, dog, and two cats are all asleep on it and not waking up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I need a new mattress. Last night, I slept on the floor. It was the best sleep I've had in a while. FML
Today, my $1300 mattress that I bought for my new home was delivered. To my old house. FML
Today, I have such chronic back pain that I can usually never get comfortable, but I found the perfect position to lie in bed, and was nearly 100% pain free. I felt so good. Someone knocked on the door, so I had to answer it. They'd got the wrong house number. I couldn’t find that perfect position again. FML
Today, I bought my dog an expensive orthopedic bed because I felt bad that he was getting older. He sniffed it for 5 seconds, walked away, and spent the night sleeping on the cardboard box it came in. Apparently, the box has better lumbar support. FML
Today, I got back from a holiday. I've been suffering from debilitating muscle spasms in my back for over a year, causing migraines and immobility. After all the physical therapy, drugs, and tests, it seems it was caused simply by my mattress. A week of sleeping in the hotel bed completely alleviated it. FML
Today, I got a new mattress delivered to my house. Didn’t have it on the frame for more than 5 minutes before my cat had already pissed on it. FML
Today, I bought my kids new mattresses for their new beds. Within 24 hours my son did a cannon ball onto his sister's bed to prove that it wouldn't break. The box spring snapped in half. FML
Today, my wife and I had our brand new king-size mattress set delivered. After the delivery men left, she informed me that I was no longer allowed to eat or drink in bed. Oh yeah, and we're not having sex on it either. FML
Today, I found out I was getting a new bed for my room. Then find out it was my great-grandmother's. The one she died in. FML
Today, my fiancé, my two-year-old, and my dog are all sleeping peacefully next to me in our new king-sized memory foam bed. It's 2:15 in the morning. Why am I not sleeping? Because they all snore, one right after the other. It's like an endless song of snoring. FML
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Top comments
Dave_Davington 34
So is this a case of "this is somewhat inconvenient. FML" or "my whole family is now dead (possibly because of my new mattress). FML"?
Tejanoswhy 19
I think it worked a little too well.......
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Comments (35)
ThePaperDragon 31
Sharing is caring!
Mathusse 14
Yeah, but it doesn't really help his back now, does it?
Tejanoswhy 19
I think it worked a little too well.......
chosha_fml 27
Kick the kids and pets out! It's YOUR bed.
Dave_Davington 34
So is this a case of "this is somewhat inconvenient. FML" or "my whole family is now dead (possibly because of my new mattress). FML"?
PePziNL 20
I found this comment funnier than the FML.
TelephoneChoir 10
Rest in peace.
maharb01 17
no kids allowed in mom and dad's bed, if they wake up terrified or something, they can bring a pillow, blanket, and sleep on your floor until they want to go back to their room. otherwise, you'll never keep them out!
gothiccookies 10
This is utter nonsense.
PePziNL 20
On the... floor? You must've had a terrible childhood.
CasiusCorvus 10
Yall never slept on the floor as kids? Maybe y'all had a bad childhood. Spending the night, forts, and yes, even when I got scared shitless I'd sneak in my parents room and make a spot on the floor beside the bed. What's your issue with it?
toastbrot 9
it's one thing if the child chooses it themself, I think it's another thing to not allow a maybe scared child in your bed and to force it to sleep on floor.
kelliecraine 2
They aren't forcing them to sleep on the floor. It's either the floor or go back to your own bed. My parents had 12 kids and that's how it was for all of us after we turned 3 yrs old.
Nickimariek 20
Maybe if you lay on top of them or jump on the bed they'll wake up.
cuz803 46
That's disrespectful :[
squizzlebee 19
I'm enjoying the mental image of that ><
cocainewhore 30
#8, how is it disrespectful to want to use something specifically for your medical needs, when it's the reason it was bought? If anything, it's disrespectful to not have left room for them on their own mattress.
cuz803 46
On the bright side your family and animals are having great sleep thanks to u. Good job on being a father OP
yerawizardlizzy 27
No.
DoomedGemini 38
Honestly this pisses me off. Sure it's a nice bed obviously, but it's for your pain. They are selfishly taking up all room to the bed, leaving you with back pain still..
Setareh23 34
Assuming the wife normally sleeps with him and the kids must be really young since they can all fit... perhaps they were simply trying to wait up for OP but fell asleep. Or maybe they had nightmares or something and the wife was planning on bringing them back but she fell asleep. Or maybe they were all testing it, but without the animals (who...crawled in later?) there was room for him... I dunno, I'm just throwing out possibilities because I really hope his family aren't just complete douchebags.
creditless 14
I thought the new Sleep Member Comatose line came with nurses to awaken u?
middlenamefrank 8
What you've actually purchased is the Narcomattress of Death! Get away from it!