Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML
Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML
Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
Today, halfway through a blowjob, my girlfriend bit my penis because she suddenly decided that she was still annoyed at me for an argument we had last week. FML
Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
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Top comments
dramaelf 37
No pressure, then.
FalloutScrolls 25
Sounds like real keeper to me. Totally not crazy. Nope. Not one bit.
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Comments (133)
Trilith59 14
I'm from Quebec too in Canada, and there's a lot of crazy bitch I can confirm...
Wolfipoo 31
That sucks OP, hope you dodged knife before she did it.
tiredofwaiting 25
Totally mood killer.
fuckoffcunt 2
she should give better head
hlmorg3 9
Does she seriously expect you to cum after 30 seconds?
Badkarma4u 17
You make a comment like that about my balls, you dont get to touch them ever again.
afallingstar 22
She must be doing it wrong...
NDForever1 14
At least you get a ******* >_>
linzhart333 8
Lol she thinks she's that good...
Razell 13
Run away! Run away!