Anonymous
Canada
Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him… but I can hear him in the walls. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
notmyrealname123
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Kitchener, Canada
It's alive!
Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML
susiedoggles
Milford, United States
Big man
Today, getting home after a long day of work, my boyfriend came running out of the house. Being silly, I thought he was excited to see me. Nope - he was excited to show me the squirrel he shot. In the house. Apparently, we have house squirrels and a boatload of holes in the floor and couch. FML
upset
Crowded house
Today I opened the door for my cat and he brought in a rat with him. Now the rat is hiding in my house. FML
RaccoonFever
La Jolla, United States
Today, I'm trapped in my apartment, due to the fact that five raccoons have decided to sit outside my only door and prevent me from getting out. Every time I look at one, they hiss at me. FML
Anonymous
Indianapolis, United States
Gross
Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML
Anonymous
Ratatouille
Today, after my house almost got broken into last week, when I heard some noises in the kitchen I went to investigate. I saw a huge rat run across my floor, and nearly peed myself thinking it was an intruder. FML
rattness
United States
Today, I found out the animal that was gnawing behind the kitchen wall all night was indeed a wild rat and his entire family. FML
hearing too much
This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff
The sound of silence
Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML
ghoul
Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML
Sarah1330
United States
Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML
Top comments
JackDark 0
He comes in the night, and he brings nuts...
pandorasnymph 0
scary
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Comments (217)
oxaviero 0
the way this was written was excellent. very funny yet scary at the same time. made me laugh.
Sekococo 0
noo foamy is just trying to spy on and then talk shit about you lol
angrynegro7 16
Foamy FTW!
bradensfml 0
that's a mlia
FarSide 23
take a shotgun and shot near the sound
mr_miyagi 0
im pretty sure all squirrels are wild dumbass
flame1819 0
borrow my aunts cat. that happened to her but the cat killed it. It turned out it was a whole family of squirrels. The cat arranged then by size/age in front of her bedroom door as a "present"
haleygir 0
that happened to me once but it was stuck in the wall rite necxt to my bed
J0yce 0
ZOMG SQUAIDS.
caramelluv 0
LMFAO
bNMitchell 0
awww I love squirrels