Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to a loud bang. Thinking someone had broken in, I grabbed my hunting knife and ran downstairs, only to find my TV on the floor, completely destroyed, and my cat casually sitting next to it without a care in the world. FML
Today, I woke up to noises from downstairs. I practically pissed my pants and called the cops. Turned out it was just my cat being a dickhead in the living room. FML
Today, after moving into my new house, I woke up to strange sounds coming from the kitchen. I panicked and started sobbing, convinced it was either a robbery or a home invasion. Turned out it was just my cat. FML
Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and I noticed the balcony door was open. As I went to go close it, I swear I saw my cat wondering outside and I panicked. Long story short, I locked myself out searching for the cat and the next thing I knew, he was meowing at me from the balcony a few feet above me. FML
Today, my dog chewed through his leash, so I had to take him inside to prevent him from running off. I went to bed. I woke up to torn-up blinds, half-ate sandals, and a very, very anxious cat due to my dog running after her and trying to sniff her butt. FML
Today, I kept hearing big *THUD* sounds across the house. The first few times, I didn't think anything of it. But after several more times, I started to suspect there was an intruder. After sneaking through the house, ready to knock out whomever was there, I found out it was my cat pushing things off the table. FML
Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML
Today, I was taking a poop when I heard a window in my house break. Then, I heard things dropping upstairs. I decided to stay in the bathroom, which has a lock, and called the cops. Turns out it was just a bird that was trying to get at my fish in the fish tank that I have in my room. FML
Today, I heard the sound of footsteps in the basement. Thinking it was burglars I grabbed a baseball bat and hurried down the stairs. I then tripped on the stairs, fell down them and smacked my head on the bat. The sound of footsteps I heard? It was my cat playing in some cardboard boxes. FML
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Top comments
gracehi 33
Catfish?
xxNIGHTxx_fml 17
Cat burglar?
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Comments (54)
gracehi 33
Catfish?
TheMalygos 21
The truth on catfish farms have been spoken?
CODplayer4lyfe 24
This comment made my morning, nice job.
xxNIGHTxx_fml 17
Cat burglar?
buckdharma 38
Hide your squids, hide your alewife!
MDoremis 38
Oh, the joy of having fur babies.
waaaaaaaat 5
sounds a little fishy
albertozeta_fml 9
Thank god I'm allergic
Razi_tail 25
Yeah, I'm allergic to blinds too but it makes great shows for the neighbors!
ooooohboy 15
HahahaHha that's funny poor kitty
bearstyle22 11
well at least it wasnt a robber rolling around in your blinds.
PerditaDessa 38
Mine can open doors, so it likes to set of the alarm in the middle of the night. One thing about pets, they sure keep you on your toes.
Razi_tail 25
It wasn't a burglar but the cat defeated that nasty monster hiding in the blinds. You should feel lucky!
NeonSteps 14
Wouldn't it be FMCL **** my cats life?
XPhoenixFire 17
Lmao the cat wont have to pay for new blinds and once its out of there it can go back to licking itself and plotting murders. So i think the cat's life is fine.