Today, a stuffed ferret was the latest addition to the list of weird items my colleagues have found in our rubbish tip, and that they put in my office. The list also includes explicit fetish porn playing cards, live ammo and dead pheasants, to name a few. I need a new job. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML
Today, I discovered that the lovely, hunger-inducing smell that's been lingering around the office lately is from the local animal crematory. I've been wistfully inhaling the stench of burning cats, dogs, and other various animals. FML
Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML
Today, I woke up to yet another severed rat head next to my bed, which I have to dispose of yet again. Cats are seriously weird. FML
Today, I was on a job trial at the local pet shop and, naturally, was doing all the disgusting jobs. As I was cleaning the kittens' litter in the cat enclosure, someone thought it would be funny to lock me in there. I sat in a giant cage in the middle of the store with people laughing at me. FML
Today, a tarantula joined my stuffed animal collection in its drawer. It, unfortunately, wasn't stuffed. FML
Today, I found out that the horrible stench haunting my apartment for the past week was the decomposing corpse of my freedom loving gerbil underneath the bed that I've been sleeping on. FML
Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML
Today, I discovered why there was such a horrible stench in my bedroom. My cat had a secret stash of shit under my dresser. Along with the carcass of a rat. FML
Today, I came home from holiday, only to find my house full of small decomposing animals, courtesy of my cat. FML
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Top comments
waswashere 0
Damn I knew I misplaced my ferret
Blacksxe 1
Well if you don't want those cards... I umm have a friend who would love them...
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Comments (117)
Enslaved 38
I have to say, I am curious what type of things are printed on those fetish cards?
turbodewsh 2
Dr. Seuss fetish cards. A woman with a goat on a boat in the moat. What else could there be?
Justin23L 2
A coy boy with a toy bathing in soy?
OnlyAvailableID 28
A sad lad cad in Tad's fad.
steven1995 5
Well maybe foot anal and a lot more
mmorgan9218 5
combo breaker..
77777771 12
Time to quit!
olpally 33
No.. Time for op to exert some revenge! Put some assortment of dead animals on all their desks op! :D
M3NT5HUN 0
What r you one of them furry people ?
Chad_the_Brony 0
When did he say he was a furry? And what are you saying about furries? I'm one. But I don't draw the **** or anything. It's a culture like bronies or, unfortunately, weeaboos. Just because you're not into the culture, doesn't make it any less worst than being a gamer or a movie fanatic. It's what you like. Don't judge.
KiroyWolf 2
Yes I agree, it bugs me when nearly everyone associates furries with sex when that's not everything. I'm one and I am not even into that kind of stuff. :/
maronofhearts 19
Bronies a culture? I think you're giving them way too much credit on that one buddy. And ive never heard anyone equate furrys to gamers and movie lovers I think you're off one that one too. As for the whole furry thing not everybody has to like it. You say what's wrong with being a furry yet you jump down his throat when he didn't even say anything bad about it. Yeah his comment was dumb but why are you hating him for supposedly not liking furrys I don't like them either yet neither of us said anything bad or rude about them. Maybe you shouldn't hate non furrys
Sumo69 9
I google furries WTF over
KiroyWolf 2
I didn't say that he said anything bad -.- was stating my opinion. I know he didn't say anything bad. And I don't hate non-furs (idk where that came from?) so yeah... Didnt mean to say anything to upset anyone and to each their own. Just gonna drop the subject.
ALpein 0
Bronies are a culture. We have a whole community of artists, musicians, writers, pretty much any kind of art form. That's only the creative aspect of it. Really, I'm not very guide at writing things like this but I can assure you that it is a big and lovely community (that can be a little... over the top at times [Derpy]).
M3NT5HUN 0
Calm yo **** bruh, I'm a furry also :3 find me on FA usernames : SliiFoxx
M3NT5HUN 0
So wait bronies are like Furries too, wow I never knew that
fyl_darksouljoke 0
Your colleagues sound awesome. The dead animals are alittle over the top though. I would rather work with them than people that talk shit behind my back, like my job
CityCunt 0
I wish you can like a comment more than once, I'd like the shit out of yours!
evilplatypus 39
Who says the colleagues don't do both?
fyl_darksouljoke 0
If they were talking shit about behind op's back they wouldn't have given him/her live ammunition to use in the event that they find out about it
ninjuh_wingman 29
The live ammo is what worries me the most.
CityCunt 0
The one I need, sounds like a fun work environment.
bungee_fml 9
I'm pretty sure you could argue that fetish playing cards being left for you is sexual harrassment, sue them!
CryMoreFMLs 15
22 - Why? They're being nice and giving him gifts, albeit odd ones. Why repay kindness with assinine behavior?
crimsonprodigy 15
"judge" would the guilty party explain why fetish playing cards were left at the table? "defendant" I forgot them ... Case closed, lol.
twilightluvr101 4
The only reason I thumbed you up was because of ur pic lol duck face!
aFreedom127 9
Change your job...are you kidding? That's way too cool!
micahsmommy 13
They are treating you like a king and bringing you back the spoils of their labour. And you want to leave?
finished 10
I'd love to work there lmao!!!