Today, a stuffed ferret was the latest addition to the list of weird items my colleagues have found in our rubbish tip, and that they put in my office. The list also includes explicit fetish porn playing cards, live ammo and dead pheasants, to name a few. I need a new job. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML
Today, I discovered that the lovely, hunger-inducing smell that's been lingering around the office lately is from the local animal crematory. I've been wistfully inhaling the stench of burning cats, dogs, and other various animals. FML
Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML
Today, I woke up to yet another severed rat head next to my bed, which I have to dispose of yet again. Cats are seriously weird. FML
Today, I was on a job trial at the local pet shop and, naturally, was doing all the disgusting jobs. As I was cleaning the kittens' litter in the cat enclosure, someone thought it would be funny to lock me in there. I sat in a giant cage in the middle of the store with people laughing at me. FML
Today, a tarantula joined my stuffed animal collection in its drawer. It, unfortunately, wasn't stuffed. FML
Today, I found out that the horrible stench haunting my apartment for the past week was the decomposing corpse of my freedom loving gerbil underneath the bed that I've been sleeping on. FML
Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML
Today, I discovered why there was such a horrible stench in my bedroom. My cat had a secret stash of shit under my dresser. Along with the carcass of a rat. FML
Today, I came home from holiday, only to find my house full of small decomposing animals, courtesy of my cat. FML
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Top comments
waswashere 0
Damn I knew I misplaced my ferret
Blacksxe 1
Well if you don't want those cards... I umm have a friend who would love them...
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Comments (117)
MonsterCommenter 4
Your work place sounds fun!
ashra_Raivyn 2
Yeah I rather work there than be behind a counter any day! I work with guns so the ammo doesn't bother me
drlove78843 6
most of us stuck in jobs don't like >:[
ashra_Raivyn 2
Nobody pays me with ferrets
KiwiKitten 2
Maybe they're just trying to keep things interesting in the office :) still, dead pheasants would kinda be the turning point for me haha.
flamegrilled123 3
Actually, it is legal in some places to have and use live ammo. For example, there's a shooting range at my school where we legally shoot .22 bullets supplied from the army
ThisBeAUsername 6
Today, I found out that my fetish playing cards were missing.
wriptidez 0
does rubbish tip = trash dump? And do you work at the dump?
KiddNYC1O 22
If it were indeed an adult industry, I doubt op would be complaining about **** playing cards.
ejr07 2
i feel like your'e british.....