Today, a homeless man bathed himself in the restroom at my coffee shop in West LA. He locked himself in there for a good twenty minutes. The lingering smell was so strong that my other coworker vomited. Thanks to what is apparently a relatively strong gag reflex, I got to clean up. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML
Today I had a customer come into my office smelling like feces, urine and body odor. I tried not to get sick to my stomach but failed miserably. I threw up in my trash can in front of him. It now smells like feces, urine, body odor and vomit in here. FML
Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, while I was working a customer notified me that the men's restroom need some attention. Thinking that there was just a small mess, I walked into the restroom only to discover someone had taken a crap in the sink. Guess who got to clean it. FML
Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML
Today, I was at work at a kiosk in the mall when I smelled something foul. I thought it was the weird dude who'd just walked by so I just carried on with my work. Minutes later, I looked to my right and there, lying on the floor a few feet from me, was a huge turd wrapped in toilet paper. FML
Today, I was working the night shift when a guy came in smelling like alcohol. He kept muttering his order, so I leaned over the register to hear him better. My ear now smells of vomit. FML
Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML
Today, I spent an hour and twenty minutes throwing up at a toilet from a shopping mall because I ate rotten food without realizing it. At least during that time I made two new friends, a gay couple who were making out in the next toilet cubicle. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Jaywin 3
#4 and #5 you both obviously haven't had extended periods of time with the homeless. They gather around my university campus and do nothing but beg, yell, and grab random people for no reason. If you two are so high and mighty wishing this fate upon me because "I don't know their situation" why aren't you two out there personally helping the homeless? When was the last time you let a homeless dude into your house to bathe and gave him a meal? You're no different from everyone else who walks by them without a second glance, so stop pretending you're a better person by "sympathizing".
anjyu22 0
You think your life sucks, think about how the homeless guy must feel. He has to smell himself every day.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (97)
BellsMaster 0
You said it's your coffee shop. YDI for not kicking him out beforehand.
Scorponok 0
I agree with 65, you should have a no homeless policy.
danielle999 0
I agree with number 30. And, not to be really annoying, but wouldn't it be a relatively weak gag reflex?
Light_Ty 0
Yes, people should bathe. Should people bathe in another person's bathroom (and, well, coffee shops usually do not have a bath tub)? Nooo. Many homeless people can be disgusting o.o, but of course not all, but many, usually theyb are druggies, which explains a lot. The homeless guy could have probably used a river, some fountain at night XP, a hose, or something else at least!
blehargh 0
Uh... while alcoholism and drug addiction may be diseases, it's still the person who chose to start using them. You have no control over whether you get, say, cancer, but you do have a choice in whether to start drinking or doing drugs. Genetics? Right, if your family has a history of stroke or heart attack or diabetes, then you don't have much control over that, but even if all of your family members are alcoholics, you can choose not to start drinking. One of my high school teachers, a very inspirational woman, grew up in a family where both of her parents and her older siblings smoked and did drugs. She chose to stay in school and never did any drugs, and now she has a great life.
heyyimkell 2
That's pretty disgusting, but how did the guy bathe himself in a coffee shop bathroom? I'm assuming you guys don't have showers in there, do you? Probably not, most public bathrooms don't have them, so that's disturbing in itself... At least he has the sense to clean himself, rather than just come in and hide in the doorway or something.
graintrain 0
69 - alot of alcoholics/druggies parents start them in on drugs and alcohol when they are too young to even know what drugs or alcohol are. A well known example would be the kidnapped child Steven Stayner whose kidnapper had him drinking beer on a regular basis before he reached 9 years of age. If he was prone to alcoholism, would it be his fault that he took his first drink. Because you know a 7 year old knows all about what drinking a beer does
totalbadass 0
If you have a strong gag reflex, you'd be more likely to vomit yourself, no?
toasted_almond 0
I sympathize as a WLA resident. Most of the bums around here are completely mentally unstable. There are plenty of homeless outreach groups in LA but they REFUSE to go to a shelter or get treatment.
dcard 0
# 56 you are the lowest possible form of life I have ever heard of. I hope you lose everything and have to spend the rest of YOUR life resorting to cafe toilets to clean yourself. And I hope "Stinky Frank" gets to turn you away, preferably in front of clean, nice-smelling people. If you can't empathise atleast learn to sympathise you a-hole!! Not everybody is as lucky as you. And by lucky I mean you presumably have a roof over your head and food to eat everyday. Grow up, have a wank, and just get your nasty kicks some other way.