Today, I was working the night shift when a guy came in smelling like alcohol. He kept muttering his order, so I leaned over the register to hear him better. My ear now smells of vomit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today I had a customer come into my office smelling like feces, urine and body odor. I tried not to get sick to my stomach but failed miserably. I threw up in my trash can in front of him. It now smells like feces, urine, body odor and vomit in here. FML
Today, I got to work feeling slightly unwell. A couple of hours later, an extremely attractive customer came to my till, at which point my body decided it would be a good idea to vomit last night's dinner all over myself and the customer. FML
Today, I started working my crappy, minimum-wage retail job at a local electronics store. An hour into my shift, my boss sent me to scrub out a discount bin, after some drunk cunt in his teens staggered into the place yelling, and puked his guts into it. What a life. FML
Today, I was working a midnight shift when a guy came in drunk and was trying to get me to come home with him. I said I had a boyfriend. As I said this, my manager, who has no teeth and B.O, said he was my boyfriend. I will never live this down with my co-workers. FML
Today, I was closing at work when someone came in ten minutes before our closing time at 2 a.m. and placed a huge order. I couldn't turn him away because he's my manager from my other job. He was drunk. FML
Today, I was drinking at the local pub and started talking to a really cute guy. I bent down to pick up my bag and the second I did, I felt like I was going to throw up. I clamped my mouth shut in the vain hope that I could block it but as I stood back up, vomit sprayed out through my nose. FML
Today, a crazy homeless guy got angry because I wouldn't sell him a bottle of vodka at half price. He got so irrationally mad, he put his fingers down his throat, and threw up on my checkout counter. FML
Today, during my shift at work, I started to feel really sick and started throwing up. While I had my head in a bag, I had several customers ask me for directions, and another customer abuse me for my lack of service. FML
Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML
Today, I woke up at a stranger's house after a long night of drinking. Before leaving, I decided to steal some mouthwash so I didn't smell like a liquor store. Thinking of the night before, I instinctively downed the Listerine like a shot and puked everywhere. FML
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Top comments
logic368 8
Well, better out than in, they say!! Oh, wait...
JasonUMN 15
That brings a new meaning to the phrase, "spit it out".
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Comments (62)
logic368 8
Well, better out than in, they say!! Oh, wait...
TheGreatPotato 19
Well it sure went out of his mouth and in OP's ear.
jjessen 20
Now what we all really want to know is, how do you know your ear smells like vomit?
teentee401 37
If OPs ear was thrown up on, he/she can assume it smells like vomit.
Hawaii84 16
Gross I hope you washed your ear as soon as you smell it.
Ian7890 23
I'm pretty sure OP didn't just leave the vomit on their ear without cleaning it off...
SumBur 11
Also, how do you smell your ear? I know my nose isn't that long.
bummerbums 16
Time to go job hunting.
JasonUMN 15
That brings a new meaning to the phrase, "spit it out".
MoistWipe 8
That stinks...
efettes 19
Boo!!! Get a new joke! Xp
vipirius 18
Please don't use Xp it makes you look like a 10 year old.
efettes 19
Personally I like the xp face and if someone were to judge me for an emoticon I use, well it would kind of make them sound like a ten year old.
efettes 19
I sure hope he didn't drive there..
KatieMajestic 17
I think they would have known by the 4WD in the wall.
moxie_cat 4
That's terrible- so sorry!
cosicosei 22
Nothing better than an earful of vomit, I kind of hope you were a sympathy puker and puked back on him
MoistWipe 8
sympathy puker
ifavela89 13
I hope you showered right away so sorry op
jw90 18
Not if he was at work.
ifavela89 13
I think that's a great excuse to leave work jerk
mFUNdo21 17
his statement was valid, yours not so much. how is he a jerk for pointing out you can't just take a shower at work if you smell bad, depending on the circumstances
vipirius 18
43 please refer me to the magical workplace where you can leave in the middle of your shift to take a shower.
efettes 19
I worked at a store that sold bait and ended up getting fish all over me. I worked an 8 hour shift and didn't get to go home and shower even though I smelt horribly. Poor customers..
ifavela89 13
first off you took that job knowing you were going to smell like fish. i guess his is to get thrown up on oh how could I have missed that. don't you think they would send him home because he would smell bad and have more customers complaining
Joshwarrior 39
Well damn op that suck but you have more resolve than me I probably would have thrown up in reaction to that.