Today, I spent an hour and twenty minutes throwing up at a toilet from a shopping mall because I ate rotten food without realizing it. At least during that time I made two new friends, a gay couple who were making out in the next toilet cubicle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I really haven't been feeling well. Even thought I felt like complete shit, my friends dragged me out to a club. When I got there, I ran into the bathroom and started simultaneously shitting and puking. If I stopped one, the other got worse. I was stuck there for an hour and a half. FML
Today, I was stuck in a stiflingly hot port-a-potty for 30 minutes with the worst bowel issues ever due to food poisoning. To make things worse, the maintenance guy came two minutes in to drain the thing and had to wait outside till I was done, muttering angrily at me as I took the humiliating walk of shame to my car. FML
Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML
Today, I was hit by acute food poisoning while attending a colleague's birthday party at his home. The toilet had a door that wouldn't close all the way, there were only three sheets of toilet paper left, and I had to walk home through town, in a dress, with my soiled underwear in a plastic bag. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML
Today, I woke up after going to a rave with some friends. I got very nauseous and sat down behind a garbage bin outside to puke. I sat directly on fresh pee. About an hour later, I sat down on a toilet seat also covered in pee. I forgot to shower when I got home. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, I tried to cook a nice meal for my sister's friends. It turned out perfect and they enjoyed it, while I was in the bathroom throwing up for two hours due to food poisoning. FML
Today, my friend decided it was funny to burp in my face. The burp was actually vomit. We were in the food court at the mall. FML
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Top comments
tounces7 28
Eww, I can't imagine a more disgusting place and sound to make out to. Who really makes out in a bathroom stall, especially when someone is barfing in the next one?
cuz803 46
You and the gay couple were having small talk while you were barfing? That's an intriguing way of communication.
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Comments (3)
cuz803 46
You and the gay couple were having small talk while you were barfing? That's an intriguing way of communication.
Marcella1016 32
While he was barfing and they were making out. I don’t know whose multitasking skills to be more impressed with!
Wadlaen 24
Never as bad as it isn't good for something!😅
tounces7 28
Eww, I can't imagine a more disgusting place and sound to make out to. Who really makes out in a bathroom stall, especially when someone is barfing in the next one?