Today, a guy lost control of his umbrella in the wind, which then hit me in the eye, making me bleed. He screamed at me for trying to steal his umbrella. People laughed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, someone stole my umbrella. It was pouring heavily, and I was using it at the time. FML
Today, I was hurrying for the bus home from work. It was raining and I had my umbrella up. As I hurried by two women, I felt my umbrella hit one of them on the head. I turned to apologise and saw her standing with her hands on her newly bald head. My umbrella had lifted her wig off her head. FML
Today, while out shopping, a middle aged man snatched my sunglasses off my face, threw them off the ground, and stomped on them, saying, "That’s what you get for trying to look cool, asshole!" I suffer from light-induced migraines. FML
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
Today, as I was walking home, a friend passed me by on his moped, and sprayed a bunch of silly string at me. Unfortunately, he hit me in the eye, temporarily blinding me. As I stumbled around blind, I accidentally knocked a bunch of 3 year olds off their bikes, causing them to cry. FML
Today, my hair got stuck in my umbrella. I asked for help from passers-by, but all I got was weird looks as they hurried past me. FML
Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML
Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML
Today, getting off a bus, it was pouring rain so I got my umbrella out. A man elbowed me in the gut and grabbed it. When I told my mom about it she said, "That's New York, get over it." FML
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
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Top comments
iam_yummylicious 12
You should respond by beating him in the face with his umbrella.
akagopher 7
That sucks and embarrassing.
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Comments (83)
cheeseboy77 0
Time to "lose control" of your fist.
FYLDeep 26
...He was on the floor dying, making a scene. Then I took his umbrella from him and left... Without paying.
LalaynaB 0
Awwee ... is it bad that I really want too laugh right now ?
ImBobo_fml 0
that guy is a good example of a douche...
lajaynay 15
Hit him with the umbrella and accuse him of stabbing you in the eye with it.
bubo_fml 11
"Today, I lost control of my umbrella & injured an innocent bystander. When I went to apologise, the irate bystander shoved my brolly up my jacksee & opened it..."
GP14brBaller 5
what?
sparkman97 7
So much win.
torilynn19 0
Damn!
ramboman19 8
The world is just getting more and more evil...
CondomSense 4
The world is always this evil, we just simply have more exposure to all the little events no one cares about that appear on FMyLife. If it wasn't for this website, we wouldn't know. It's kind of a way of liberating our madness.
Michael_92 20
Oh don't worry tomorrow someones umbrella will fly at his eye. Payback is a bitch sometimes. He shouldn't have said that tho totally uncool!
hyden121 2
Did you consider taking it away from him and beating him over the head with it?
mommykrissy_05 7
Karma is a b!tc#... Next were gonna read his FML. Sorry op FYL!