Today, a guy lost control of his umbrella in the wind, which then hit me in the eye, making me bleed. He screamed at me for trying to steal his umbrella. People laughed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, someone stole my umbrella. It was pouring heavily, and I was using it at the time. FML
Today, I was hurrying for the bus home from work. It was raining and I had my umbrella up. As I hurried by two women, I felt my umbrella hit one of them on the head. I turned to apologise and saw her standing with her hands on her newly bald head. My umbrella had lifted her wig off her head. FML
Today, while out shopping, a middle aged man snatched my sunglasses off my face, threw them off the ground, and stomped on them, saying, "That’s what you get for trying to look cool, asshole!" I suffer from light-induced migraines. FML
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
Today, as I was walking home, a friend passed me by on his moped, and sprayed a bunch of silly string at me. Unfortunately, he hit me in the eye, temporarily blinding me. As I stumbled around blind, I accidentally knocked a bunch of 3 year olds off their bikes, causing them to cry. FML
Today, my hair got stuck in my umbrella. I asked for help from passers-by, but all I got was weird looks as they hurried past me. FML
Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML
Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML
Today, getting off a bus, it was pouring rain so I got my umbrella out. A man elbowed me in the gut and grabbed it. When I told my mom about it she said, "That's New York, get over it." FML
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
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Top comments
iam_yummylicious 12
You should respond by beating him in the face with his umbrella.
akagopher 7
That sucks and embarrassing.
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Comments (83)
smashmaster52 0
Don't steal his umbrella then :)
Nathangh 2
Shove it up his ass and call him gay
Notime4bull 4
Ahh humanity. We're definitely a caring and helpful species eh?
NullPointer 20
I have a thing about eyes. The idea of eyes getting cut scares the shit out of me. Was it his eyeball? If so I am so ******* freaked out. I'd be worried I'd go blind in that eye. I am still freaked out. Also, am I the only one who thinks: Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful. Should be: Speak your mind, but please try to respectful.
JinxosGirl87 0
You should be scared. I had a tiny cut on my eye from my mascara brush and the ****** made my eye blurry and in horrible pain for days.
felah17 6
Should've grabbed the umbrella,ella,ella,and shoved it up his arse! He would have been bleeding too,& it would have been funnier!!!
MoNnEy_MiiTE 3
You should tell him whats up i mean, whats up his ass when you shove it up there
KiddNYC1O 22
I always feared that happening while I open an umbrella ella eh eh eh.
_words_of_wisdom 4
that song blows, die in a hole.
KiddNYC1O 22
You sure you're mature as indicated in your about me section?
dansco 25
What a knobhead! Hope you got him with it!
noncom 12
That's the british for you.
glitterglam86 0
Aww hope ur ok and it wasn't bad I'm sure he was embarrassed and he's think g he's an asshole right now