Today, a guy lost control of his umbrella in the wind, which then hit me in the eye, making me bleed. He screamed at me for trying to steal his umbrella. People laughed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, someone stole my umbrella. It was pouring heavily, and I was using it at the time. FML
Today, I was hurrying for the bus home from work. It was raining and I had my umbrella up. As I hurried by two women, I felt my umbrella hit one of them on the head. I turned to apologise and saw her standing with her hands on her newly bald head. My umbrella had lifted her wig off her head. FML
Today, while out shopping, a middle aged man snatched my sunglasses off my face, threw them off the ground, and stomped on them, saying, "That’s what you get for trying to look cool, asshole!" I suffer from light-induced migraines. FML
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
Today, as I was walking home, a friend passed me by on his moped, and sprayed a bunch of silly string at me. Unfortunately, he hit me in the eye, temporarily blinding me. As I stumbled around blind, I accidentally knocked a bunch of 3 year olds off their bikes, causing them to cry. FML
Today, my hair got stuck in my umbrella. I asked for help from passers-by, but all I got was weird looks as they hurried past me. FML
Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML
Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML
Today, getting off a bus, it was pouring rain so I got my umbrella out. A man elbowed me in the gut and grabbed it. When I told my mom about it she said, "That's New York, get over it." FML
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
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Top comments
iam_yummylicious 12
You should respond by beating him in the face with his umbrella.
akagopher 7
That sucks and embarrassing.
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Comments (83)
naddification 7
I am actually really worried about your eye. Hope the injury isn't a serious and vision-impairing one.
evilscorpi 29
I would beat him until he bleeds.
BlAzEtHiS 0
FYL indeed. I would've probably shoved that umbrella up that twat's ass and then beat the laughing onlookers with the bloody, shit covered end I removed from the corpse.
lazy_ella 7
I hope your eye is okay
superpokgai123 0
War a Nice friendly city u live in
tj4234 36
Welcome to England...
KindaFunnyRight 8
You dirty umbrella thief!!! I'll have you arrested for this!
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
I believe eye-sight is more important than an umbrella.
marriedmanz 0
If that person met me , that will be the worst day of his life !
Jasonf6 0
Did you kick him in the nuts and scream at him for trying to steal your foot?