Today, a guy lost control of his umbrella in the wind, which then hit me in the eye, making me bleed. He screamed at me for trying to steal his umbrella. People laughed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, someone stole my umbrella. It was pouring heavily, and I was using it at the time. FML
Today, I was hurrying for the bus home from work. It was raining and I had my umbrella up. As I hurried by two women, I felt my umbrella hit one of them on the head. I turned to apologise and saw her standing with her hands on her newly bald head. My umbrella had lifted her wig off her head. FML
Today, while out shopping, a middle aged man snatched my sunglasses off my face, threw them off the ground, and stomped on them, saying, "That’s what you get for trying to look cool, asshole!" I suffer from light-induced migraines. FML
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
Today, as I was walking home, a friend passed me by on his moped, and sprayed a bunch of silly string at me. Unfortunately, he hit me in the eye, temporarily blinding me. As I stumbled around blind, I accidentally knocked a bunch of 3 year olds off their bikes, causing them to cry. FML
Today, my hair got stuck in my umbrella. I asked for help from passers-by, but all I got was weird looks as they hurried past me. FML
Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML
Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML
Today, getting off a bus, it was pouring rain so I got my umbrella out. A man elbowed me in the gut and grabbed it. When I told my mom about it she said, "That's New York, get over it." FML
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
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Top comments
iam_yummylicious 12
You should respond by beating him in the face with his umbrella.
akagopher 7
That sucks and embarrassing.
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Comments (83)
danbman95 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Thats still kinda funny
briandunlikelmo 0
Hit him with the umbrella.
OneNightStan 2
Funny how?
mamamiaaa_fml 12
I guess he doesn't want anyone else under his ummberella ella ella ey ey ey... No? Okay.
TheRealPeter 6
Just say, "Damn it Meg!" It always works for me.
naughtia 14
Shove the umbrella up his ass then open it.
CondomSense 4
You should lay down, just like in a coffin!
officeradvil 8
13- Funny like a clown.
onealmxwilson 18
You've obviously never been hit in the eye with an umbrella.
akagopher 7
That sucks and embarrassing.
chloee_147 6
What do you call an Irishman who pretends he's hurt his leg?Shin feign.
kewlkate 9
"OH MY GOD!!! I just can't believe you took your eye and decided it would be an awesome umbrella holder so you could steal it. I mean, seriously? Your eye really tried to steal my umbrella!"
mooocow1 5
Lol i giggled too :)
cheeseboy77 0
because you would obviously giggle when you get hit in the eye with an umbrella. having bleeding eyes is so funny! (sarcasm)
celicagirl 5
damn! FYL!
iam_yummylicious 12
You should respond by beating him in the face with his umbrella.
danik2212 0
Why so much violence?
FYLDeep 26
Man, I thought I got here early and I already see that this has been suggested twice. I was going to say the same thing.
iam_yummylicious 12
Because violence solves everything. Duh. And @FYLDEEP - I said it first by 6 minutes, so I win :D!
momaji13 0
I would have cussed the man out
stuth186 7
May as well of stolen it, then swiftly inserted said umbrella in idiots anus
TruthBeTold36 3
This is the 3rd FML I've read today where someone claimed shoving an object up someone's ass is the appropriate response. I feel like there is better ways to handling these situations. Could be wrong.
Isoldael 27
Yep, as others already suggested, hitting them in the face with something works too. It's not all about the ass!
cybRuser 16
and open it.
dumboears 8
London sounds like an awful place to live.
EmilyJoSmyth 4
No it's not
WorldWarAres 11
Who said it was London? All it says is United Kingdom.
wisese 0
He was probably embarrassed, because people tend to laugh when someone loses control of an umbrella due to wind. It's a funny sight. When the umbrella hurt you, he probably didn't know how to handle his embarrassment and opted to make you out as the villain. He's an asshat. Hope your eye is okay, that really does suck.
Crinale 7
Exactly
Crinale 7
That must suck... i bet those people noticed that the guy with umbrella was clearly faking and laughed at him, if not then i don't know what was so funny in getting hit with umbrella or screaming that someone is "trying to steal it"
Babyseal420 7
Get all Chuck Norris on his ass.