Today, I decided I would eat healthy in order to lose weight. Feeling powerful, I threw away all of the icecream in my freezer. An hour later, I picked the icecream carton out of the garbage and ate the entire half-melted carton. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to eat healthier. I started with making 2 eggs and burning down whole kitchen. FML
Today, after a week of working 18-hour days, I finally sat down to eat more than a sandwich. Unfortunately my kitchen has become a mess and I bypassed the clean bowl I'd put on the counter and ate my ice cream out of the cat's dirty food bowl. FML
Today, I was extremely tired, so when I decided I wanted a snack, I went to the corner of the kitchen where the chocolate is, opened the garbage bin, and reached inside. FML
Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML
Today, I bought 3 buckets of expensive low-calorie ice cream because it was on sale, only to discover it tastes rather awful. I thought I liked that stuff… Oh, I remember now, I did like it… After mixing it with lots of chocolate spread. FML
Today, I decided to go on a diet to lose some weight before summer. This was followed by the arrival of a giant parcel full of candy from my mother. FML
Today, I threw out all the food in the freezer that my mom had been keeping since 2013. When she found out, she said, "frozen food doesn't go bad." FML
Today, I went out to get groceries and ice-cream. When I got home, I couldn't find my house keys. I retraced my steps, but with no luck. I returned home and had to break in. While unpacking, I found my keys in the bag, right next to the completely melted ice cream. FML
Today, I told my roommate I'd meal-prepped a whole week's worth of food. Hours later, I found all my perfectly packed containers… in the freezer. I meant to refrigerate them, but now I have seven blocks of chicken-and-rice ice sculptures. FML
Today, my daughter had ice cream while I was napping. She didn't want me to know so she put the bowl in the trashcan and put the spoon in the garbage disposal and turned it on, because she thought it would make the spoon disappear. FML
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Top comments
123Puppy 33
You’re so gross...
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Zen-THC 7
pig
123Puppy 33
You’re so gross...