Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking out of a grocery store. I hit the button on my key to open the trunk, which hit an old lady just under her chin and knocked her to the ground. As she laid there, she pointed a shaky, bony finger at me and yelled that she would sue me for everything I have. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML
Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML
Today, I bumped into a lady, apologised and tried to continue on. She screamed assault and tried to citizen's arrest me. I've got better things to do, so I ignored her but she latched onto my leg like a toddler. I ended up dragging this insane woman up the street until she finally let go. FML
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
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Top comments
maurambie 9
People who believe everyone is evil.
marinus_fml 20
OP did ask him/herself that; along with everyone on fml, in the form of a rhetorical question.
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Comments (185)
lovepink_66 3
Ask yourself that hun
marinus_fml 20
OP did ask him/herself that; along with everyone on fml, in the form of a rhetorical question.
luis_r96 4
I wuldve beat her up too
DoWorkBro 4
Well now a days kids in elementary school get in trouble for bringing peanut products to school.
marinus_fml 20
#28 what's your point? I'm sure that's only to schools with students highly allergic to nuts. In my school we had a girl so allergic that even the smell of it sent her into anaphylactic shock.
FarSide 23
For ****'s sake, STFU about peanuts.
Imgonnahaveabf 9
If someone else picked up my stuff, I would go chasing them down the s
Imgonnahaveabf 9
If someone else picked up my stuff, I would go chasing them down the street because that purse had my fun and badge! $0rry about the comment before, it was a typo. IM SO FREAKIN PISSED!
zbajis 7
66- I love talking about nuts though!
StoryOfTheYear 15
Now if she hadn't smacked you the **** up, you would've gotten away with her purse, don't blame her
ripgeorgecarl1n 7
Yup... If you were wondering white people, THIS is what it's like to be a minority. Haha.
thanks_asshole 2
she got that line from an eminem song haha
RJM_isaBeast 0
**** you.
hobbsicle805 0
nuts are good yummy..
Kiki19968 0
Lollz thank u!!!
reptileguy1296 0
People always assume the worst....
Friaza 29
I know right D:
thingfish 0
steal the purse. if you're gonna get called a thief, you might as well have the pleasure of being one.
maurambie 9
People who believe everyone is evil.
annasworld 3
it has come to filthy thieves helping old ladies
KiddNYC1O 22
It has come to paying over 4 dollars for a gallon of gas. Smh.
NagatoPain 4
A7X FOREVER!!
Shut_Your_Mouth 0
It has come to umbrellas being... well...
btown1616 0
2- love your pic! RIP rev
toongirl 4
@ #49 We pay roughly $8 per gallon in the UK...
cradle6 13
131-Yeah, and I just came back from Israel where it was about $10 a gallon. Americans have it pretty well with gas prices compared to rest of the world.
kingatowning 2
That's one strong umbrella! O__O
taywee14 0
I live in Ontario we pay about 2$/gallon
lmBobSaget 0
Thats what u get! Since when are people nice
DeadxManxWalking 27
People like me
sofiainthesun 5
Old people are so awesome.
reallytho3 11
Is that wut u call it?
Zero22120 12
Old people are crazy, they never have any idea what's going on. Watch an old person walk into a line and you can go ahead and add at least another 5 minutes more than normal.
lolololer 8
am i the only one who laughed super hard that she threatened to open up an umbrella in his ass?
minisquid 9
My goal in life is to be crazily insane. If that makes sense :P
bsharp1 1
The comment on society at the end is a nice touch.
rallets 23
FAIL.
rallets 23
dammit, not to you. ahh this commenting system sucks
hahachun 4
First :)
Nanall 15
Sad to say but I'm not surprised! You hear all these scams and thefts, it's hard to be trustful nowadays.
Bobissmall 13
Stop trying to help people, are you some kind of fool? That never goes well.
robin70 5
How badass...
trollsemen 8
Say "this has what the world has came to!!!" and then pull her wig off.
Groucho_fml 5
What?