Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML
Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML
Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML
Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML
Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML
Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML
Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML
Today, holding my teenager's hand at the hospital, I unfortunately had a front row seat as a nurse manipulated his penis trying to pop a ball bearing out of his urethra. He had been curious to see if it fit. It did. And no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t pee it out, so off to the hospital we went. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
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Top comments
gc327072 31
Is he nuts? It takes balls to talk about something so personal with a stranger. FYL, that's weird as heck, should've.... cut him off.
zingline89 18
If you're a pharmacist, not so terrible. If you're a 15 year old girl working the drive-thru window at McDonalds, FYL.
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Comments (70)
MollyXD124 7
Well isn't that just wonderful?...
OhAidan 7
I'm hurting just reading this FML..
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Oh, Aidan, don't hurt! Vasectomies are entirely optional. (except for you...)
Driblets 8
Just remember Aidan... No seeds... ALL juice! -_~
tj4234 36
More like FHL. Sounds painful.
unknown_user5566 27
Talk about creepy. I hope you reported him to your manager; I doubt they want customers who talk about such things in their place of business.
Soloman212 28
Unless OP is in the medical field...
unknown_user5566 27
24- True, but I haven't heard many doctors or nurses refer to people as "customers". If OP was in the medical field, wouldn't s/he have said "patient"? Also, wouldn't situations like this be somewhat common (or at least expected) in the medical field?
LadyA13 1
Yes 25, as a nurse I can verify that if the OP was a medical professional, he/she would have said patient or maybe client, but not customer. Nor would a professional say FML about a patient's swollen testicles. It's our job to listen.
rahrah765765 11
Could have been a register operator at a pharmacist/ chemist/ drug store.
unknown_user5566 27
36- Even then, I'd imagine these things come with the territory. If OP is a pharmacist, etc, then the customer was probably there to get medicine for the effects from the surgery; it would be natural to assume the customer may want to explain the side effects.
Soloman212 28
Ah, actually your logic is quite sound. I just can't think of any other situation where a customer would do this, and where OP would sit and listen, instead of running away while projectile vomiting.
gc327072 31
Is he nuts? It takes balls to talk about something so personal with a stranger. FYL, that's weird as heck, should've.... cut him off.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
^That was a Horatio moment right there
guci101 14
Lol
zingline89 18
If you're a pharmacist, not so terrible. If you're a 15 year old girl working the drive-thru window at McDonalds, FYL.
onlychildFTW 34
"Hi can I take your order" "My balls were so swollen after my vasectomy" Maybe he was trying to hit on OP. get her feeling sad that his balls hurt so she would make them feel better. Who knows!
Welshite 40
He wanted her to kiss his boo-boo and make it feel better.
Drigr 9
He was letting her know she wont get prego.
BiChelsea 6
What are we gonna use now for the pasta!!!
suboy 10
Thats extremely awkward. FYL.
OldMemoriesFade 8
To much detail....
ObeyAlliance 7
...But not enough O's
TourettesGuyFTW 26
^that game me a comedic nerdgasm...
rawrforlove 7
I could have lived my entire life without picturing that. XD
perdix 31
Sure, you could, but when you are a guy, the day you have the giant, swollen balls is so worth the pain. You end up waddling around singing that AC/DC song.
Jaxx66 21
Some balls are held for charity And some for fancy dress But when they're held for pleasure, They're the balls that I like best. My balls are always bouncing To the left and to the right It's my belief that my big balls Should be held every night! I do have to admit; I love that song.
thatKidzmOm 10
Now it's stuck in my head!!!!! :-0
perdix 31
#56, do you mean the song or the giant, swollen balls?
WiseGuy79 14
Frickin creeper... Should have re-created that swelling with a swift punch to the nuts haha
iamzikang 17
Balls: But you didn't have to cut me off