Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML
Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML
Today, my dad had his "sixteen years overdue" vasectomy. I'm fifteen. FML
Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML
Today, I happily announced that I'm getting married. My dad immediately shot back, "And I'm getting E.D., who gives a damn?" Just when I thought he was joking, he muttered that "the bitch" will take everything in our divorce. Moment ruined. FML
Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML
Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML
Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML
Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML
Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML
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Top comments
worldclassrager 41
Well that's one way to break the ice also how could anyone deserve this?
Whatapuffchild 23
be glad you were the chosen one
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Comments (62)
worldclassrager 41
Well that's one way to break the ice also how could anyone deserve this?
TrippingOnAcid 29
I believe many people press the wrong button by accident, dear.
AlaskanG 27
That, and dislike trolls.
invadermaythe1st 35
Don't forget those who want badges
addictedtosorrow 12
He was just trying to get the ball rolling in my opinion.
Kamon97 23
Wasn't there an FML similar to this?
Spicemelon 5
That's deeply unsettling...
sweetest_jenn 18
On the bright side. No matter how "deep" things may get from here on out, no one has to worry about surprises. Happy Father's Day!!!!
badluckalex 23
enough with these ******* puns
Demig0d6 14
Cum on guys... It's serious stuff
brenton490 19
I'm totally cereal!
sunnyray812 42
Such a good subject to talk about while eating.
worldclassrager 41
Delicious right?
WinterBlue42 22
Especially if they were eating 'Rocky mountain oysters'. .
Whatapuffchild 23
be glad you were the chosen one
WMFG16 14
Amanyyyyyy 29
Your dad sure knows how to start a conversation!
Bloink 25
well i think that's good information to know :p
krundale 6
Congratulate him for me!!!!
fearlesscooldude 12
I bet that was an awkward Father's Day.
ohSNAPyall 27
Eh, what's the deferens.
woainishamu 21
Mommy must be happy.
pimrol 16
maybe if you try my little pony pornography youll forget it.
Nyarlothatep 12
Don't even suggest bringing poor little Fluttershy into this!
OysterPearls 33
Princess Celestia would frown upon that comment, 11.
dragonkisses28 25
#14 It disturbs me that you know the name of a my little pony; however, I am much more disturbed that there is actual MLP **** out there. :/
HylianTwilight 21
Rule 34 after all. I saw a picture of two sandwiches doing the deed.