Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML
Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML
Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML
Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML
Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML
Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML
Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML
Today, holding my teenager's hand at the hospital, I unfortunately had a front row seat as a nurse manipulated his penis trying to pop a ball bearing out of his urethra. He had been curious to see if it fit. It did. And no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t pee it out, so off to the hospital we went. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
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Top comments
gc327072 31
Is he nuts? It takes balls to talk about something so personal with a stranger. FYL, that's weird as heck, should've.... cut him off.
zingline89 18
If you're a pharmacist, not so terrible. If you're a 15 year old girl working the drive-thru window at McDonalds, FYL.
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Comments (70)
MisterEx 28
Demonstration included?
SummerTime69 5
F both your lives! Sorry OP :(
chronosphere 18
Can you decribe it? Loooool
mintymandy 11
I work at McDonald's, and I've had a customer tell me about how they had four adults in one house, two bathrooms, everyone had diarrhea, and they were out of toilet paper..good god, I'm a burger flipper, not a bartender.
DocBastard 40
Some guys will use any excuse to talk about their junk. "Nice day today!" "I have this lesion on my penis. Doesn't hurt, but it bleeds sometimes." "That's, uh...nice?"
FYLDeep 26
Shit like that happens when you work in a hospital Doc. It would be like a mechanic bitching about how everyone always seems to bring up problems they're having with their vehicles in conversations.
rsbaker 3
Seriously? Doc I'm loling. Good one
obeliks 4
Oh, you wouldnt believe how things get messed up down there, my balls were probably double the size the first day or two!! Let me know if you would like more details. ( like what the nurse said when she came in)
amerikaninfidel 2
Lol, I once dropped the call bell on someone's!
sweetmama88 6
Omg no one has no more manners ! Why on earth would some guy talk about there nuts , probably there nuts them selves. sometimes men can be terrible, they have no idea when to shut there mouths . just plan down right aweful .
raraisbang 12
Just another example of why grammar is important, guys...
RedPillSucks 33
This has been a public announcement from raraisbang, "Conan" the grammarian.
Chaylbs_Draco 8
Your profile says you are 23... Please take the time to learn the difference between there, their and they're...
maosquare 18
It's not only grammar, it's the spelling too! It's as if I'm watching a bad B grade horror film.
wildsweetchild 19
Judging by the way it's written, most likely 37 is a foreigner. No need to be harsh, but a simple correcting of the mistakes can be very helpful. Welcome to FML community 37 ! If you'll be here long enough, your grammar can improve as well (if you'll pay attention) ;)
raraisbang 12
65, it says they're from New York, and they aren't really that new. Could still be a foreigner, but could also be they just don't care about their mistakes.
RedPillSucks 33
Great balls a-fire!!!
amerikaninfidel 2
Lol, one of the craziest things about working in a hospital as a dude is having to deal with the severally swollen scrotums of patients. We have little jock strap supporters that we sometimes have stuff the sack into!
skyeyez9 25
I can understand if you were a doctor or a nurse and he told you that. Something tells me you probably work somewhere like a bank or restaurant when that weirdo shared this info.