Today, after a week of looking for my car keys and being forced to drag my family around on public transportation, my wife found the keys in our car's ignition. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I couldn't get to work because I couldn't find my car keys. It turns out, my mother took them and put them "somewhere safe." She can't remember where they are. FML
Today, after locking my keys in the car and waiting three hours for my mom to bring me my spare, I reached into my bag only to find my keys. FML
Today, my wife and I were having a fight, when she grabbed my car keys and threw them over into the neighbors overgrown junk yard. My car is a restored '59 Belvedere and the keys can't be replaced. I've been looking for hours and I still can't find them. FML
Today, after being without my car keys for two days, I finally got a locksmith to unlock my car on the off chance I'd left my keys in there. $170 later, the car was open, but I didn't find my keys. Frustrated, I threw the paperwork in the garbage... where I spotted my keys. FML
Today, I spent five minutes sitting in my car, panicking and tearing my purse apart because I couldn't find my keys. I then found them. They were in the ignition, and the car was running. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML
Today, I went through my purse to see where my keys were. I found my house keys, but not my car keys, so I freaked out. When I remembered that I was driving, I felt stupid. FML
Today, my car keys decided to play hide and seek. Good news: I found them under my bed. Bad news: it was after my job interview was scheduled to start. FML
Today, my toddler thought it would be funny to hide my car keys. After searching for hours, I found them in his toy box. FML
Today, my keys disappeared out of my car door during the 50 foot walk to the trash can. When I finally went to security after trying to find them, they said someone drove off with my car right as I walked in the door. FML
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Top comments
Kaurageous007 12
Didn't you consider checking in your car to begin with? Sorry for the week long nuisance OP, but YDI.
tamie306 5
At least your car wasn't stolen.
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Comments (132)
CastleFreak1212 3
Wow that must really suck. Hopefully your luck turns around :)
hunterluv1 20
...how about you read it again honey:)
PipingMouse 14
That's not luck that's common sense. Your supposed to look "everywhere" that includes your car.
MrForgetable 0
I think that would be among the first places I'd look o.o
1Brucie 2
I don't believe this FML story is true anyway. Nobody is this stupid. This is either fake or there's more to this story...
ozone9914 2
That eye looks like an eye
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
I feel like 1 didn't even read the FML, just saw his chance at first comment and made a general comment hoping it would work lol
gracehi 33
My theory is that 1 is just a really REALLY nice person. But that's just me.
MagicGiraffe 12
68, Hershel's sexier.
gracehi 33
Well, 73, if you're into older men... Different strokes for different folks I guess.
Tuffay 14
Dyslexia???
lacrossechick52 7
73 r u kidding me?? Dale is much better looking that Hershel!!
gracehi 33
Not to mention his overwhelming badassery. *sigh*
letmehavemytea 21
Daryl is everything that's good in that show
gracehi 33
I concur. It would be lame without him. Daryl is so popular, they're putting him in the comic books now.
starman02 12
Daryl is extremely popular, and I love his character.. But I love him more on the boondocks saints! Nom nom nom
gracehi 33
"Nom nom nom?" Oh no! A walker! *skull ***** 98 with a rusty screwdriver*
onlychildFTW 34
Why would you even leave keys in an ignition? When I turn my car off I pull the key out and put it in my pocket. That's a good habit to get into.
Kaurageous007 12
Didn't you consider checking in your car to begin with? Sorry for the week long nuisance OP, but YDI.
Canucksftw24 6
I know that would be the last place I look
flutter4 7
My keyless entry fell off my keychain in my car and my car was the last place I checked after panicking for a few hours about having to buy a new one
tamie306 5
At least your car wasn't stolen.
erikav9669 11
At least he saved on a weeks worth of gas.
SavannahJanee 6
Your lucky your cars still there
iOceanus 18
*you're ...honestly, really?
Drigr 9
If you're gonna be a douche and correct you're, you should probably correct the missing apostrophe in car's as well
CrewBoy 10
It isn't being a douche. It's calling someone out for not being able to differentiate "your" from "you are."
Drigr 9
From someone who neglected to differentiate between cars and car is while correcting them. I just dislike seeing the obvious corrections being pointed out yet at the same time ignoring others.
CharresBarkrey 16
107, I agree. But I think the your/you're is more important in this situation because the poster used both in the same sentence for obviously different meanings and STILL didn't see their error.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Grammar police - now working part time shifts...
Drigr 9
I agree, your/you're IS important. But if you're going to grammar police someone, at least do it right and get all the errors and not just the most common one.
doodlecloud 27
If you correct ALL mistakes someone makes you end up looking like even more of a douchebag and all that person sees is a list if errors that they're not going to read. They will switch off and may just resign to being bad at English and unhelpable. You also have to decide where to draw the line with slang, text talk and possible typos. Correct just one important word and they're more likely to read said correction (whether they meant to or not - the brain has a way of automatically reading short sentences). If they see that correction multiple times then they may actually realise there's a problem and change.
Drigr 9
If anyone has been a commenter for a decent period of time, they know the difference between your and you're, or they are helpless. To pick only one error, the 's when contracting and is would be the more important one, since it is corrected less.
iOceanus 18
101 - I saw it after I had already commented. I was just in utter disbelief that people STILL do this, so I didn't bother to read that rest of the comment until I was done. My condolences, my fellow grammar nazi.
olpally 33
Brilliant... Jeez... :/ faith in humanity -300. Glad your car is still there... You're one lucky idiot... Lol.
olpally 33
My Comment was posted at the same time as the girl above me... Ignorant people thumbing me down... Lol.
CrewBoy 10
How high was your faith in humanity to begin with? Over 9000?
olpally 33
Yes, yes it was... Lol. /sarcasm
CrewBoy 10
But seriously, by how often you lose faith it has to be below 0. Maybe you should take a break.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Your comment was thumbed, simply because of all the extra nonsense
MURIKKA 11
Every time someone talks about losing faith in humanity, I am pushed a little closer to the brink of insanity. Seriously, people are way too dramatic. If something like this shocks you that much, you need to get out more. By the way olpally, I am not trying to single you out, as you are certainly not alone in this.
olpally 33
Just thumb it down, go insane then for all I care... Just for making a comment like this one like so many other people do? Really? That's being dramatic... Lol. Oh I understand.
olpally 33
Yay! Bury me into oblivion because that's the trend when someone makes a bad comment like i did and then all the subsequent ones i make after that one will perish too! brilliant... Don't even read the comment and thumb it down cuz my original comment got buried..LOL that's just fantastic... :D
olpally 33
*vomits* where did all my idiotic comments go? Lol...
olpally 33
I can't even defend myself, the mods took my comments down... How sad :(
Drigr 9
And what's with the usually high numbers? Remove a few zeros people..
HSOMGF 5
Either this is a troll FML or deeply disconcerting idiocy.
Sandsh8rk 36
That was a big Derp moment.
Codezlol 21
Any Derp that lasts one entire week is a big Derp!
tandem123 6
Consult a doctor if your derp lasts more than four hours
reddawn1985 12
Why was she in the car if u couldn't use it?
soullessgingers 0
Maybe because she was checking for the keys again...
Welshite 40
No, of course she wasn't looking for the keys. She was trying to use her telekinetic powers to make the car start.
Posthuman 26
She saw that car commercial with the Darth Vader kid and tried it out
hatesfate 6
^fail. The kid was standing in front of the car and started it -Sir Buzzkill
Tuffay 14
She googled how to hotwire a POS, and thought she would give it a go!
chatoyant_fml 12
Isn't the car one of the first places where you look when you can't find your keys..?
CueTheMusic 22
you're a dumbass. simple as. that's a place you always check.
trellz17 19
Why does he have to be called that? Jeez!
hatesfate 6
^because it's fitting