Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML
Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML
Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML
Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML
Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML
Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML
Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML
Today, holding my teenager's hand at the hospital, I unfortunately had a front row seat as a nurse manipulated his penis trying to pop a ball bearing out of his urethra. He had been curious to see if it fit. It did. And no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t pee it out, so off to the hospital we went. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
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Top comments
gc327072 31
Is he nuts? It takes balls to talk about something so personal with a stranger. FYL, that's weird as heck, should've.... cut him off.
zingline89 18
If you're a pharmacist, not so terrible. If you're a 15 year old girl working the drive-thru window at McDonalds, FYL.
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Comments (70)
doglover100 29
Gross.
my2centsworth 15
If you'd posted from Michigan, I'd have thought you spoke to my brother. Perhaps you found his doppelgänger in the southern hemisphere.
CandyDolll 7
On a random note I have had this account for a little bit over a year and never really comment. I hope you dont encounter this akward situation again.
neurodoc 1
Describe in detail the symptoms you had when you developed hemorrhoids and the color variations of your stool. Then say, "Ooh and the smell, that story is for another day.. (pause..) anyways, would u like some chocolate mousse for a dollar more , sire" (Btw- this tactic wouldn't work with us docs --- u can't creep us out with any conversation about pretty much anything -- one of the perks of going to med school)
delicious69 5
I know how bad that hurts first hand but I still wouldn't talk to a stranger about it. Fyl sorry you had to hear that.
Connect 10
Yeah I hate when this happens!
muffinXmonster 12
where the hell do you work?!
jenshu 5
Where do you work...?