Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML
Today, after telling my best friend an idiot could make Kraft Dinner, I spilled boiling water all over my hands and forearms while attempting to strain the noodles. FML
Today, I tried to break up a fight between two of my coworkers. They decided to show their gratitude by smashing me in the face with a thick ceramic dish. FML
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML
Today, my kitchen is trying to kill me. So far, I've hit my head three times on cupboards that opened themselves, cut open my hand on the microwave door when it slammed shut, and burned my cheek with the "heat-proof" oven mitt when I pushed the hair off my face. FML
Today, I was fired from my job because I would "scare" the customers. Two days ago, a coworker spilled fry oil onto the grill, causing flames to singe my eyebrows and the front of my hair off. FML
Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML
Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a workmate, I took a sip of the tea, which I had forgotten was boiling hot, and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML
Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML
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Top comments
Pommy_fml 0
don't be a baby. cut his junk and yell 200 points!
slowlybreakingme 14
wow. that's ****** man!
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Comments (132)
riplox 0
there are fAr too many stupid immature games in professional kitchens. oh I feel ur pain mate
imakeubleed 0
paybacks are a bitch. I learnt that a long time ago.
angela_gail2010 0
I'd beat him up and be done with it. maybe if they fear you they'll stop? lol
DreamerofWorlds 0
Wow, seriously, tell someone higher up in the company if you can, or the police. FYL Also, to the couple of people who have said that the OP must be an annoying douche to make everyone hate him, that isn't necessarily the case. There are a couple people I work with who hate me simply because I do my job the way it's supposed to be done, which means they look bad by slacking off. That might be the case in OP's situation too, like everyone was used to slacking off until he got hired or something.
epictrollathon 0
Fight fire with fire: 1) Cast-Iron pot to the face (not the skull, just the face, that shouldn't kill him). 2) Knife to the Achilles tendon. Again, we are going for maiming rather than killing. Show those bastards you know a thing or two about violence in the work place, too.
Twi_lover_EC 6
So if someone kills you how many points would that be?
KMC_x3 0
so who won ? lol. my money's on the chef. xD
davek 36
Get him with the carving knife. FATALITY!
katmandont 0
@63 - Like in Mortal Combat... The new cooking game: Mortal Chef! (Some japanese guy yelling Mortah Iron Chefu!!!!)
skyeyez9 25
Boiling water will permanately disfigure you! Not to mention medical bills if the injury gets infected or you need a skin graft. Call the police, file a report and press charges.
bfffness 0
solution: beat the shit out of him in front of the others, no one will mess with you again. stick up for yourself, stop being a pussy.