Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML
Today, after telling my best friend an idiot could make Kraft Dinner, I spilled boiling water all over my hands and forearms while attempting to strain the noodles. FML
Today, I tried to break up a fight between two of my coworkers. They decided to show their gratitude by smashing me in the face with a thick ceramic dish. FML
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML
Today, my kitchen is trying to kill me. So far, I've hit my head three times on cupboards that opened themselves, cut open my hand on the microwave door when it slammed shut, and burned my cheek with the "heat-proof" oven mitt when I pushed the hair off my face. FML
Today, I was fired from my job because I would "scare" the customers. Two days ago, a coworker spilled fry oil onto the grill, causing flames to singe my eyebrows and the front of my hair off. FML
Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML
Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a workmate, I took a sip of the tea, which I had forgotten was boiling hot, and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML
Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML
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Top comments
Pommy_fml 0
don't be a baby. cut his junk and yell 200 points!
slowlybreakingme 14
wow. that's ****** man!
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Comments (132)
yogibear01 0
don't be such a douche it's that simple haha
littlenova13 2
well that was a douchey thing to say; does that mean that you deserve boiling water on your hands??? NNNNOOOOO it does not.
ThatsMyHerpesBoy 0
**** them
betafailure 0
Quit and add a lawsuit.
GiddyXD 0
quit. when you quit you should say "goodbye turd wankers lil' shit eaters hope you choke on the shit and die!"
mrzero 0
are you an asshole???
jimbeam1 0
u should sue those ******* and when u win in judge judys court yell 439 points!!!! hahaha
mabesxx 0
wow, how slack. i feel sorry for you, OP.
monnanon 14
Please tell me you are no longer working there OP. No one should have to go through that when they are just trying to do their job. Tell HR or something. Learnt is how learned is spelt (ooh look theres another one :)) in Britian. I don't know why some of us use t's and some use ed its just one of those things. Now that its been explained for the 100th time on this fml alone do you really have to bring up the spelling in FMLs all the time. Western languages are mostly based on latin anyway and i don't see any Italians on the site tearing hell out of people because the English spellings are different from their Latin roots.
2nite 0
why put up with it
ALQ_fml 13
Assault (ABH) and grievous bodily harm (GBH): I suggest looking into them, contacting your local authorities, and getting these people arrested and prosecuted. Getting them fired, as I've seen a few comments suggest, is really unimportant, as they are physically attacking you - on purpose, as you have discovered. That is illegal, and can get them thrown in prison for a long, long time if convicted. I believe, since boiling water can cause serious burns (especially if a good amount was thrown on you) that this would constitute GBH. Did you require medical treatment? Records of any treatments you've had for these wounds will definitely help you if you decide to pursue legal action. Your coworkers are cruel morons for not realizing that they can get anywhere from five years to life in prison if they're tried and convicted. I feel bad for you, OP. I hope you decide to take legal action against them, and against your place of work for not protecting you from recurring harm on the job. Even if the authorities can't do anything yet, it will definitely help you later to have complaints on file. Good luck, and stay safe!